I am angry

Lately, well always but I have noticed it getting worse as of late, are my anger management issues. I used to go right to drugs as soon as I got angry to calm myself. That was obviously not a good idea. I know a lot of people cope with stress by drinking or using drugs and as this is no longer an option I am looking for any advice. I know I am not the only angry person out there.

I know exercise is a great way to relax, but this is not always a viable option. I also know breathing exercises are a good way to calm yourself down, but I am hoping for a more long-term solution. I guess the question I am asking everyone is: how do I become a less angry person? I lose my temper if a sock goes missing. It is quite silly, and I can recognize that now in a calm state, but once my heart starts racing, I find it difficult to calm down and think rationally and so a lost sock will make me abuse the closest person to me. Any advice on how other people deal with their anger and stress would be really helpful.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/ang...5/METHOD=print
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/ang...2/METHOD=print
http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/24738
http://careerplanning.about.com/cs/p...ger_manage.htm

hey plutarch I know it's not easy because anger just seems to happen before you think about it....mindfulness is a good aproach..."if you don't mind it does not matter" I googled it and practised it...it is something that you can't fix over night but you can overcome it ...focus on that and before you know it one day you will look at a different aproach it's like when you are driving and someone cuts you off...you can get angry or you have a choice and the choice is anger or having a attitude of oh well "some people can be rude" we cannot control all things around us but you can control your feelings. Easier said then done but it's possible otherwise you wouldn't be here looking to change. Have a great day Plutarch

i do have to agee that being anry is a choice...i too had a problem with always being angry about everything and anything and my drug of choice to calm me htough was a cigarettee and it still is but after many yrs of being angry it has started to effect my helath always being tense i mean to a point that my shouldres and back would just kill...i still get tense and upset about something quick...but i also pratice mindfullnes becasue if we are aware ahead of tiem what triggers us we can train ourselves that next time that sitauiton come sup we are not going to choose to be angry about it becaue most likely there is nothing that we can do to changeit

How are you doing, Plutarch?

I am doing a lot better, thank you. I am not in a situation where I can get therapy at the moment and so all the work I am doing is on my own. Which is good and bad. The articles you passed on to me were very useful, as is the mindfulness approach. It has only been a week, but by just making myself more aware of the issues at hand I am better able to control myself. Furthermore, simply reading about other people and their issues helps me understand my own behaviour more, whether they cope or not.

It is a long and arduous journey of self-discovery, one that I could not take when I was still a drug addict. Sometimes, it all becomes too much. I realized I have wanted to change for so long that I began to idealize myself in a way. I kept saying I was changing, but it was all in my head. Now I can actually say I am taking the steps toward change.

The goal right now: Everyday I have to do one thing that is good for me. ie a walk, some sort of exercise, reading, writing, meditating. Even for 5 minutes. Since I started this 5 days ago, my anger management, as well as a multitude of other issues, have improved. My overall well-being seems to be on the rise.

Anyway, long answer to a how are you. But thank you. You and everyone who posts on here has helped tremendously in allowing me to get to know myself, which is necessary in order to find happiness.

Good for you, Plutarch. May your hard work bring about the changes you seek.

Hi, I think its very positive that you are taking the steps to improve and be happier. I admire you for having the strength to follow a self made programme and confronting some difficult issues.

About anger - I thought about it alot. Anger and I used to have a difficult time together in that that I did not know healthy good ways to express it. In fact I did not express it. I have been with a man for 7 years who used to react much like you do. He used to flip and have angry outbursts from small meaningless invisible things. It was very hard for me. He also drinks too much and I think he is an alcoholic. Its very sad. I left him recently as I do not think he will ever take the steps to recover.

What I can say is maybe just a few things to make you think:
one - anger usually covers for othere feelings like sadness and fear
two - when people snap and get mad easily their coping mechanism are usually lacking
three - anger is a good feeling. It indicates to us that something is not right. You are listening to it and acting postively. This is very good and in itself a good step for recovery.
four - many people who abuse drugs and alcohol and then stop usually find themselves more emotional and more angry because the drug covered up these feelings and prevented them from feeling. So they become a boiling anger pot...
five - if you are taking it on other people - its worth remembering others feelings and the need to respect and treat them equaly.

I wish you well in your recovery and I support you in your path for good health!

Good for you that you are actively seeking answers to your questions. You can overcome this. Stay with it.