I'm Tim and I'm a recovering alcoholic...

Hi everyone

I never figured I'd be posting in this section. I usually post in the "Anxiety" forum. Well, I hit rock-bottom last night. I drank glass after glass of gin and lemon-lime soda and then glass after glass of whiskey and coke. I also chain-smoked cigars throughout the day. the whole house looked and smelled like a drunken poker room from the 1800's.

During all this, my inhibitions became much more relaxed and I became very irrational and did all kinds of stupid things that I would NEVER have done had I been sober. For example, there's this one animal forum I have been going to for years and I went there and posted all kinds of very sick and twisted stuff that I don't care to repeat, got myself banned and then proceeded to start screaming at my room mate for a good 1/2 hour and saying all kinds of goofy things to him. Then, I was screaming at my neighbors (from inside my house) and finally I collapsed on the floor with a splitting headache and feeling like I was going to die. The entire night was filled with weird dreams and once, it even felt like I could'nt breath and was having a heart attack.

I was also very drunk when I went to the ER the other day and noticed these two police officers sitting outside my room. To make a long story short, I felt (in my drunken fog) like they were holding me "hostage" and so I went totally ballastic on them, threatened to sue, screamed, shouted, etc. As I began to sober up, I apologized to them and they turned out to be very nice officers who were just doing their job. I felt so bad.

But it does'nt stop there, I punched things, did something very kinky I am ashamed of (never mind) and even called a prominant lawyer up on the phone and threatend to sue him!. Since alcohol makes me crazy, I am convinced that if I continue down my present path, I am going to get shot, sued, arrested, disowned by my freinds and family or something really horrible will happen. Therefore, I have VOWED to completely quit.

Years ago when I drank all the time and then finally quit (after a lot of false starts and stops), I had tremors, shaking, sweats, horrific panic attacks, anxiety and I was a TOTAL basket case for days. That is what I will soon be up against again and it terrifies me but I can't continue down this empty road.

For those of you who believe in prayer, please pray for me. For those who can provide moral support, please help me through this. This morning, I have felt weak and dizzy all day. Spent...drained...

Thank's again and I'd love to hear from any old-timers here who have gone through the horrors of alcohol withdrawl as I'm about to. How did you cope with it?. How long did it last?. Did you take any meds to help you get through it?.

- Warm regards and lots of thank's, GreyGoose

Hi greygoose.... I don't have any problem with alcohol, and I 'm sorry to hear of yours! Sounds like you had a really rough time of it. Are you in any kind of therapy or support group yet? I am sensing a lot of anger, turned both inward and outward. . . best wishes to getting a handle on this...

Grey, you are definetely in thoughts and prayers... May you find the peace you so desperately need. We're here for you. ((((((((((greygoose)))))))))

my only suggestion is get into AA right away. also think of going to rehad. since you are asking for help this is my suggestions. I live with an alcoholic for many years and yes you do lose alot of people you love dearly. please get professional help now.

tim......i am here for you in whatever way you need me.....you can get through this......love julia