[madisgram]

i just need to express my sadness/frustration/powerlessness regarding a friend. i drove 1200 miles to spend xxmas with her and family.hadn't seen them in 11 years. i used to sponsor her in AA. the day before i left she confessed to me that she had lied to me and was using oxy's for a year after she had told me she had quit. i spoke with her husband-my friend too-and he said come on we'll make it a good xmas in spite of her. i asked my friend to get immediate help. she was admitted to a hospital on my way up. she left there the next day against medical advice. she detoxed at home. i arrived while she was still detoxing. then 2 good days/for her thereafter. on the 3rd day she went out and got stumbling drunk and then came home. she's also an alcoholic.
her disease has progressed where there is only one thing left to occur-death, imho. i fear her using and drinking will destroy her but i am powerless to help her. it's so hard to see her do this. she has 9 children. all are emotionally scarred from her addictions. she seems to have lost her conscience and soul. she's totally out of control. she uses the medical community to get more dope, not to get well. she also uses pain clinics for dope. she's an R.N. and knows how to manipulate the system. i've lost all hope of her recovering. in 1985 i lost my very best gf to this disease. i was scarred emotionally by her suicide. now i'm watching another good friend do the same. so sad for her, her family and me. can do nothing but hope for a miracle. i am so grateful it happened to me/miracle and i chose to get sober 20 years ago. my life has changed and i am amazed at the good things that occur daily in my life.
thanks for listening.

[lynn P.]

I'm sorry you're going through this with your friend. If her husband admits her, would this keep her there so she could leave? This must be very triggering for you (((madisgram))). My second oldest brother struggled all his adult life with alcohol addiction and it ended badly. So proud of you for being 20yrs sober. I pray your friend gets the help she needs.

[notz]

Yes Maddie, time does take time. With all its horror and grief, it takes what it takes. Aren't we glad we're off that bus...

[splitimage]

Madisgram, I'm sorry that you are having to witness your friend self destruct. But it's true, we can only get clean when we really are desperate enough to do whatever it takes to get clean. I haven't personally lost any friends to addiction - but I'm sure it's a matter of time. I'm just grateful I got out of my last relapse and was able to get back into recovery. And this time I'm determined to do everything I can to stay sober because I know the next step is death - and I'm not ready to go there yet.

You and your friend will be in my prayers.

--splitimage

She needs an intervention.If she doesnt have all the support she is receiving she may hit bottom.But at her level of illness it'd need to be very well thought out.Because it sounds as if her very life is fragile.

[disguise123]

oh it must be so painful, my heart goes out to you.

[Leed]

I too am sorry Madisgram. This is so difficult to watch. I'm going thru something similar with my son. He's an alcoholic, and of course i can't do anything about it. I'm a recovering alcoholic with 17 yrs clean/sober and even tho he can see all the good things that have happened to me, he still doesn't "get it."

I have a feeling I'll be burying my son - and parents shouldn't have to do that. But I've ALMOST accepted that. maybe.

God bless you Madisgram and I'll say prayers for your friend. Hugs, Lee

[2009Dutch]

I'm sorry for your friend. It must be very hard to watch this, but as we know she can only recover when she admits she's powerless and accept the help.
Good to read that you are so proud of 20 yrs sobriety! You should be! I'm wishing you all the best.