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#1
Apr 29, 2011, 07:11 PM
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Hi...let me apologize in advance and say sorry if this gets a bit long. I have been in AA for many years and with this sponsor since last year November. I am also in T and on March 22 my T decided it would be best if I went inpatient for severe Sui depression. I called my sponsor and let her know what was going on and she wouldn't freak when I didn't call her for a couple days. I got out March 30 and called and left her a message that I needed some time and space and wasn't sure when I would be back at meetings. It has been about a month and I shot her an email that I wanted to call her and to let me know when would be good as I don't know what her schedule is like right now... That was 2 days ago...and I've heard nothing. Should I attempt to call her or take it that she doesn't want to sponsor me?
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#2
Apr 29, 2011, 08:58 PM
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call her again.....thats what I would do.....its only been two days. She might have personal issues going on, or is real busy.....Good Luck......
__________________
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich The road to hell is paved with good intentions. "And psychology has once again proved itself the doofus of the sciences" Sheldon Cooper 
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#3
Apr 30, 2011, 07:57 AM
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yes, call her again. you did state you wanted time and space. that you didn't know when you would be back to meetings. contemplate why you weren't ready to return.
she may be holding back by your comments. we sponsors may choose to help the person hungry for sobriety. how far are you willing to go to stay sober?
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#4
Apr 30, 2011, 11:11 AM
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Eh forget it she obviously don't wanna talk to me. F**k it!! I don't owe anyone anything! Just asked to be taken off home groups email list! If she don't want to email back I owe her nothing!
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#5
Apr 30, 2011, 11:40 AM
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Quote:
i'm confused. why take yourself off home group email list? no you don't owe her anything. you tried and she's possibly wrong not to at least respond. but she may be away or something and not ignoring you. how long has she been sober? if it's under 5 years sober that could explain her behavior if she's deliberately not responding. it takes about that long in sobriety to really effectively sponsor someone, imho. having done all 12 steps is necessary too. i'd suggest not shooting yourself in your own foot. like, "i'll show you attitude." the only person who loses is you. we have a tendancy to be all or nothing people until we grow in sobriety. even then it may pop up but we're aware if it happens. just keep the focus on you and your own sobriety. it seems you are hurt by the lack of response by her. hurt doesn't have to turn to anger. it's a luxury we can't afford. please let us know the outcome and how you are doing. i was told my sobriety had to come first no matter what. hugs.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#6
Apr 30, 2011, 03:04 PM
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She has 19 years but if you don't do things EXACTLY the way she wants it done....she won't sponsor you anymore and Im sure the month I took off because of the other issue was too long in her eyes. I don't give a damn anymore. I'll just do everything through my therapist and psychiatrist including alcoholism recovery. I don't need ******** like this after what is already going on. Oh and by the way Ms. Thang has 19 years.
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#7
Apr 30, 2011, 03:29 PM
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after reading your response re 19 years she exhibits "The great I am."
 so sorry you were treated this way. it's not appropriate to do this even if we plan not to sponsor someone anymore. she disrespected you. the very least she could do is to tell you that. but as we say in AA, "some of us are sicker than others." it's good you learned now how she works her program or lack thereof in her case. it's not an all or nothing program and sponsors cannot demand sponsees doing things exactly as suggested. it's a personal choice and one that is yours. btw she isn't pure as the driven snow either tho she apprantly thinks she is. of course you have to find your own path but please know not all sponsors are this way. it saddens me to hear your story and the negative effect she had on you. when someone asks me to sponsor them i suggest to my sponsee to do the same as a common courtesy to their former sponsor. in therapy you can discuss this experience with your T. so glad you have that support system in place. you know already i don't mind you pm-ing me if i can be of help  .
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#8
Apr 30, 2011, 04:47 PM
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My T thinks AA is a crock of s**t. I would only be helping her case by telling her...we agree to disagree there. I've been going to a meeting now and then just not the 3 meetings a week I was doing prior to the hospital. Anyway I will figure something out.
And thank for the encouragement. |
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#9
May 01, 2011, 07:55 AM
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well good for you, melissa
 . so glad u're not allowing this person to run u away from AA. i was referencing your T since i didn't know if AA was kaput for you right now. my sponsor told me once, don't ever allow someone to run you away from AA. it's your program and no one has the right to dictate to you. we sponsors only give suggestions. to be honest some are strong suggestions but still it's your choice what you do. you'll know now when you see a red flag like that woman.i'm really proud of you for protecting yours!!! and with a great attitude too. you'll be fine. just take your time to find a sponsor that's a good match. if it turns south again, say NEXT! 
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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