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#1
Apr 25, 2011, 08:25 AM
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I had a really really tough weekend with wanting to drink, but I'm happy to say I made it through it without drinking, so today I'm happy to report I'm 2 months sober instead of reporting another relapse.
I know 60 days isn't really all that long, and I've had other 60 day milestone's before but this one feels kind of different - in that it's the first time I've sucessfully managed to stay sober through a really intense urge when i had the opportunity to drink, so I'm kind of happy. Rehab is ending in 3 weeks and I'm both happy and sad about that. Sad because it feels very secure and safe to me, and happy because I know I'm ready and need to move on, even though it means starting job hunting which terrifies me. I'm also starting a social anxiety group at my psych hospital the first week in May. I know I need it as my social anxiety has been getting worse, to the point that it interferes with my personal and professional life, but I'm nervous about it. It's one morning a week for 12 weeks with daily homework, and it's supposed to be really intense. It also involves exposure therapy which I'm scared about. But I'm trying to just stay focussed on the now, which my meditation is really helping with. Wishing you all another 24. --splitimage
__________________
 "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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#2
Apr 25, 2011, 01:48 PM
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Congratulations on 2 months!! That's wonderful! You've accomplished quite a feat! I remember those first 60 days, and believe me they were rough!
 Good luck with your Social Anxiety class. I also felt very anxious in public, but one thing that helped me was thinking "What's the worst that could happen?" I decided that being in public wasn't going to kill me, so that DID help. LOL  And I also found out that when I went out in public, I was not the center of attention!! Who would have thought??!!! LOL I always thought everyone was looking at ME.  Come to find out, no one was watching me! LOL That was a relief.Best of luck! Keep us posted on your progress. Once again, congrats! Hugs, Lee |
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#3
Apr 25, 2011, 01:59 PM
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slow and easy, SI. just take on that anxiety the day it comes. try not to project the outcome. lee and i had the same question, what's the worst thing...? i said, die. well some of that stuff was much easier than i thought!
congrats on 60 days. it is an accomplishment so don't minimize what you've done. getting sober isn't easy. staying sober is, using what we are learning a day at a time.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#4
Apr 26, 2011, 10:55 PM
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Pretty happy - picked up my 60 day chip at my AA homegroup tonight. It was so much better than picking up another desire chip. Another guy in my group who has also really struggled with the program picked up his 30 day chip tonight, and that was great to see as I know he had a really hard time coming back after his last relapse.
Just really trying to take it one day at a time.
__________________
"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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