How Relapse Happens...

This is kinda long, but it's very informative on how relapse happens. I think it's a must read for those of us who are prone to relapsing. I received this by email from my old sponser.

On the surface, relapse seems simple: You're tempted, you want to drink or drug, so you give in and do it. But in reality, relapse is not so simple a matter. It involves a long string of steps, with opportunities to intervene at several points along the way.
Here's how relapse works:

Something Happens: This can be an event, a situation, a person from the past, a mood. It can be anything, good or bad, inside you or outside you. You get a notice from the finance company that they're going to reposses your car. You win the lottery. You go to a party and the old gang are whooping it up, getting loaded while you sit on the sidelines with club soda and lime. You think about lost loves and lost chances. You see a movie that makes you cry. You feel especially alive and strong one day.

You interpret it: The thing that happens triggers a deep core belief about yourself and the world that you originally formed in childhood:
I'm a failure, They're all against me, I must have my way, I'm worthless, There's danger everywhere, I'm incompetent, I'm unlovable, Life's unfair, I'm a misfit, People are no good.
The core belief helps you interpret the thing that happened in the form of automatic thoughts:
This will ruin me, There's no hope, It's awful, I'm going crazy, I'm going to die, I can't stand it, What's the use of trying?, I can do anything I want.
Interpretations give rise to cravings.
I'd like to have a drink... right now. , Let's do a line. , I need a joint. , Maybe I should take a pill or two.
Cravings inspire permission-giving thoughts.
It will calm me down. , One won't hurt. , What the hell-everything else is going wrong. , I'm strong now-I can handle it. , Just for medicinal purposes... , I deserve to celebrate. , I need to forget. , I've been sober a long time-it's out of my system.

You focus on action: This is when you head for the beer in the refrigerator, drive to the liquor store, rummage in your roommates' closets looking for their stash, drift to the rear bathroom where the cokeheads hang out, get in line at the cash bar at the reception, look for the waiter, and so on.

You drink or take the drug: At the end of this long string of events, you finally crack open the beer and drink it, toss back the shot of bourbon, sip the Margarita, light the joint, snort the line, pop the pill, or otherwise use the substance from which you've been abstaining.
Here is what the sequence looks like in a diagram:

Something Happens
|
|
| Beliefs/Thoughts
|
|
| Cravings
|
|
| Permission-giving Thoughts
|
|
| Focus On Action
|
|
| Drink or Drug

In the depths of chemical dependency, this whole sequence is unconscious, almost completely out of your awareness. You open the repossession notice from the finance company, and magically find yourself with a beer in your hand. You walk into the old gang's party, and a scotch and soda materializes before you. You remember the pain of breaking up with your lover, and the doobie seems to roll itself. You hear certain music, see strobe lights on dancing bodies, and that white powder just jumps up your nose.
It's this introspective blindness that allows you to say, "Hey, there's no problem-I can quit any time", when it's obvious to others that you're out of control.
As you move toward sobriety, you become more aware of the internal sequence. You wake up and start noticing your cravings or the actions you typically take to get drugs or alcohol. You start observing the sequence. You experiment with interrupting it. This is the contemplation and preparation part of quitting. Finally you make the big change and quit.

A Five-Step Program for Relapse Prevention

Relapse prevention is a matter of continuing to do what you have already successfully begun. It's just more systematic. What you need to learn to do is improve your skills at stopping the relapse process at any of the five steps before the final "Drink or Drug" step. You can:
1.) Step something from happening.
2.) Redirect action.
3.) Contradict permission-giving thoughts.
4.) Cope with cravings.
5.) Change core beliefs and automatic thoughts.

Through this, it is my hopes that you can see relapse now for what it truely is and fight it off easier when triggered or the temptation arises. I know this was kinda long and probably not read by many, but I found it to be very interesting and important to my sobriety, and hopefully to yours now. Hope you learned something new about relapse.

you are right bama! this is pretty informative

Glad you read it and found it informative. I know because of it's length, a lot won't read it all the way... But I think it's very important to those of us who are either prone to relapse or gets easily "side tracked" from staying focused on their recovery.

Thanks Bama! I copied this so I can read it off line too.
skylrks

Awesome!

You're right this is really informational and it applys not only to subtance abuse but also slipping back into a depressive state.

Thanks for taking the time to post this.

You're very welcome

BAMA it has been a few days since I talked to you!
I just want you to know that I am proud of you!!! you go girl!!!!

mrb, thank you so much. I'm still having kidney problems due to my drug usage before, but the medicine they gave me is working some. I'm not giving up.

DONT GIVE UP!!! We are all here for you!!!
We care about you!