[jasie]

sometimes I have to drink early in the am just to make it through the day . sometimes I dont drink except every three or so days then I'll drink a whole bottle and go a few days of drinking until I feel bad about it but then stop for a few more days . Ive even gone a week or so without drinking. When I had a psychiatrist he acted like it was a bad problem but with PTSD symptoms all the time I am thinking its not so much that I am addicted but its more like medicine to help with the PTSD symptoms because I can stop when Im not having tons of ptsd symptoms. and I start again when they get more harsh. Like Im not a die hard alcoholic just a situational one . I was trying psychiatry at one point ive since got frustrated with the whole premise of it and quit. The psychiatrist I was seeing was like really freaked about the way I drink at times. But its like how can someone without PTSD really understand how alcohol helps the symptoms , better then the pills he was giving me. I quit the pills because I didnt feel so good on them. I dont see what the difference between a perscription for the symptoms of PTSD that only works a little vs. drinking honestly. I wonder if you have emotional problems if the professionals are just geared to see everything you do as wrong or an illness vs. if I didnt have emotional problems Id just be an average , normal drinker. Does this make sense? Im just frustrated with the whole scene of trying to heall and how.
thanks for listening ,
jasie

[Willcat]

I understand self-medicating with alcohol and for me drugs too. The problem I found with that is I stayed ill, ever repeating the same cycle of drinking a harmful substance to fix a dire condition. It just dose not make sense.

I eventually ran into additional emotional problems on top of the ones that were my mental illness because of drinking. Drinking made my depression worse so I drank more to fix that. With more drinking, this caused me physical problems such as tissue damage to my liver. That made me even more depressed.

I stayed sick for a long time. Then came a day that I knew that I needed to change. I sought out help and learned how to develop a dual-diagnosis treatment plan. That was the beginning out of substance abuse/dependance to sobriety and better mental health.

[madisgram]

i believe you are treating your PTSD by self medicating.
there is also a form of alcoholism or dependancy called binge drinking. one doesn't necessarily drink everyday but when they do it is to excess.

Binge drinking or heavy episodic drinking is the modern epithet for drinking alcoholic beverages with the primary intention of becoming intoxicated by heavy consumption of alcohol over a short period of time.[1] It is a kind of purposeful drinking style that is popular in several countries worldwide, and overlaps somewhat with social drinking since it is often done in groups. The exact degree of intoxication, however, varies between and within various cultures that engage in this practice. A binge on alcohol can occur over hours or last up to several days.[2] Due to the long-term effects of alcohol misuse, binge drinking is considered to be a major public health issue.[3]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binge_drinking

Like Im not a die hard alcoholic just a situational one .

BTW in my case my "situational reason" for drinking led me to alcoholism.

if I didnt have emotional problems

have you considered therapy to deal with the emotions and feelings you have? i found it beneficial and learned new healthy ways to cope. i'm also in recovery from alcoholism many years now. my therapy helped me with alcoholism and i choose to attend AA.
hope this may help you.

[lost in]

i'm a recovering alcoholic (bipolar, GAD also). i also used alcohol as a medication. i found when i quit the drink (with the help of a 12-step program) that my capacity to get help for my other conditions increased. The "screw it" thinking became manageable and i became a larger participant in getting better. best wishes to you.

[Leed]

Hi ! You don't have to drink every day to be an alcoholic. There are "binge" drinkers who drink perhaps once a week, but when they do, they drink alot! Those people are most likely alcoholics too.

It's not how much or how often you drink that matters. It's what the alcohol DOES to you -- it changes you & makes you say & do things you wouldn't normally do. Plus many times people drink to numb the emotional pain instead of dealing with the problem. Many times we just don't KNOW how to deal with the problem, so drinking is easier!!

Alcoholism is a progressive FATAL disease, but we can stop it in it's tracks. We have that power. I think if I were you, I'd do some reading on AA or else go to a couple of meetings and hear what they have to say. It can't hurt. You can take what you like, and leave the rest. But if you continue drinking like you're doing, nothing GOOD will come of it. You're harming your health, plus you're not dealing with issues that are bothering you. Remember that alcohol kills -- the liver just cannot stand much of this.

I wish you the very best. Please keep us posted on how you're doing. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[popeye]

I am 60 and self medicated for 35 years. I did not quit till my doctor told me I was going to die soon if I did not quit. I have a alcohol induced cardiomyopathy(weak heart) that almost killed me and eventually will. I now have a pacemaker that keeps me alive. Alcoholism is a fatal disease. I suggest you go to AA and give it a try...at least 3 meetings a week...if you don't get anything out of it in 30 days you can have your misery back.

[jasie]

thanks for everyones posts. I drink alone so its nothing social. what you all said is kind of scary . The health problems that can happen . I did quit drugs I dont even do pot no more. Alcohol seems to be a hard one . After hearing your posts , I think what I am doing might be a bad problem that might get worse and worse . I know I start getting scared and thats when I can go weeks without drinking but then it comes back and I drown myself into non existence for a time. I just feel like a ping pong ball with this sometimes. Maybe I can just sit in the back of a meeting and see what it feels like.
thanks again,
jasie

[Leed]

Hi again Jasie -- That's the problem with alcohol -- it's sits in the back and waits until you're vulnerable, and then it strikes -- you drink again. That's why we alcoholics have to have SUPPORT -- and by going to AA meetings, we meet and hear what others have done to stay sober -- plus they support us in our endeavor.

We're never cured -- we have to change our whole style of living. We have to change people, places & things. Drinking alone is also a "symptom" of an alcohol problem. Many times we even HIDE the fact that we drink or how MUCH we drink.

Alcoholism is cunning, baffling & powerful! Most of us can't quit alone -- so AA seems to help the majority of us. I wish you the very best. God bless & talk to you again I hope. Hugs, Lee

[Willcat]

Originally Posted by jasie

Maybe I can just sit in the back of a meeting and see what it feels like.
thanks again,
jasie

Heres some good information that may help.

Your First AA Meeting. An Unofficial Guide For the Perplexed. By Floyd P. Garrett, M.D.
From; .Behavioral Medicine Associates,
Comprehensive Modern Mental Health Services (bma-wellness.com)

Here are the AA Book's

Also, If AA is not what your looking for in an addiction treatment program, there are other programs to consider.

Like:

What is CBT
http://www.bidmc.org/YourHealth/Medi...ChunkID=101930
SMART Tools
http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/toolchest.htm
http://www.smartrecovery.org/resourc...clesessays.htm

[Astridetal]

Hi Jasie, I'm not alcholic (never drink in fact) but I know how much of a problem it can bew. Like has been said already, even if you drink heavily jus ton occasion, it's still a problem. In fact, you can drink yoursle finto a coma if you drink just enough. I don't mean this to scare you, but it's the truth. I do think since you use alchol to treat your PTSD, that you really need help with the PTSD. Can you see a therapist who has experience with dual diagnosis (addiction + mental illness) patients? IN the Netherlands where I live, this dual diagnosis thing becomes an increasing problem and there are clinics for this all over the country. You need to get help for both your alcoholism and your PTSD at the same time really. Treating just one will be less than optimal.

[Caretaker Leo]

jasie, thank you so much for starting this thread.

The responses I've read today are finally starting to hit home. Sure, my hub has said many of the same things as what has been posted here, but I guess I'm one of those stubborn people who just can't hear the message from the one I'm most emotionally connected to every day.

I hope you have done as I have and read Willcat's link to http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/F...A_Meeting.html

[popper]

Hello. I am an alcoholic that was led to AA. It was a miracle for me. It gave me the courage to tackle the PTSD and Depression caused by childhood traumas.

No one can tell you that you are an alcoholic. You have to decide. When you have reached a point that you are no longer willing or able to get by in life by self-medicating with alcohol, then you may be ready for the great results you can find from the AA program.

I found that alcohol was doing for me what i wanted. To kill myself. And at that point a good person invited me to an AA meeting and after the 2nd meeting i came to the realization that i might just be an alcoholic. Before that i knew that i wasnt an alcoholic and no one could have convinced me otherwise.

It was scary in the beginning but i knew that it was better than what i was doing, so i seriously started working the program. After a year of being sober, i found out that i had damaged my liver and that i indeed had cirrhosis of the liver.

AA gave me the courage to actively seek out therapy for the childhood stuff and now i am three years sober and doing so much better. I now have tools; from AA and from a great therapist, that helps me get through all the wreckage of my past.

Life is still a roller coaster, but i now have the where-with-all to handle the bad and the good things that come my way and that had been so damaging in my childhood. You can do it and i can tell you from my own experience that it works if you are willing to work it.

Good luck to you in your journey. Life does get better and you are not alone. You will find a great group of supporters in AA. Yes there are other programs out there and many people do well in them. AA has had a great track record for over 75 years and counting and lives have been changed for the better.

peace

popper