[DarlaKat]

Everyone is afraid for me...because well...I have turned 21 today...and well....I have an alcohol problem.

Honestly, I am under the influence right now. I know it isn't right for me to say this. But I'm doing...a tad bit better. I've been drinking to the point to a "buzz" and then quitting...when before I was drinking to get TRASHED. People from my hometown are very confused because I used to use many many opiates, marijuana, speed, and alcohol ALL THE TIME and now I rarely do anything but drink maybe a few mixed drinks.

I just don't understand why anyone, including my own psychiatrist, is worried about me turning 21 years old today. I understand that I have had serious drug addictions in the past...but I'm not so bad anymore...I don't know...maybe I still am still bad???

I'm so confused!!!!!!!

[Leed]

They're worried about you turning 21 because you're becoming legal today, and they probably think you'll get trashed!

Obviously you have an addictive personality since you've had problems with drugs & alcohol. The fact that you're "doing better" at the moment doesn't say alot. To be truthful, you really shouldn't be drinking at all -- I think you know that you will undoubtedly get drunk again sometime in the future.

Drugs and alcohol kill. It's not just in car accidents either. They RUIN your bodily organs. Right now, you're killing brain cells -- and these cells will NOT regenerate. You are also doing damage to your liver. Alcohol is filtered by the liver -- and after a time, the liver just cannot handle it anymore and it becomes severely damaged to the point that it quits functioning. You cannot survive without a liver. Alcohol also damages the kidneys & bladder, among other things. Studies have shown that it can play a part in esophagael cancer -- that's what my husband died of. He was a recovering alcoholic, with 12 years sobriety when he died.

People are worried about you -- and they love you. Why not try some NA or AA meetings? They are really great! You won't find winos there. You'll find people just like YOU there -- young and old people, who have problems just like you. Don't wait until you're old and sick to go. It might be too late by then. Life is a blast sober -- I'm a recovering alcoholic too, and I've never had more fun!!

Think about the hangovers, the guilt, shame, feeling sick. You don't have to feel like that anymore. I wish you the very best. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

[DarlaKat]

see...my problem is that I don't think I'm that bad with addiction...I feel like I am one of those winos. I feel like (even though I show signs of withdrawal within 5 days without drinking) I'm really not that bad off. Yes, now I usually get drunk / tipsy 3 or 5 days out of the week...I used to get drunk EVERY NIGHT!!!!!!! of course I didn't think I was that horrible either...

Sometimes I worry myself...my boyfriend believes I'm in denial...

[madisgram]

http://www.stopdrinkingalcohol.com/alcoholism-quiz.html

your posts may be minimizing your alcohol use. this is common in one of the stages when we're going south re our drinking. some people are alcohol dependent which can lead to full blown alcoholism. when others are concerned it's a good time to really look at your drinking, imo. the quiz above may offer you reasons to pause. the highest rate for alcohol abuse today is teens and young adults. hope this helps you. it's important to be truthful when you answer the quiz questions.

Stages if change regarding alcohol dependacy. Individuals in the precontemplation stage of change are not even thinking about changing their drinking behavior. They may not see it as a problem, or they think that others who point out the problem are exaggerating.
There are many reasons to be in precontemplation, and Dr. DiClemente has referred to them as “the Four Rs” —reluctance, rebellion, resignation and rationalization:

• Reluctant precontemplators are those who through lack of knowledge or inertia do not want to consider change. The impact of the problem has not become fully conscious.
• Rebellious precontemplators have a heavy investment in drinking and in making their own decisions. They are resistant to being told what to do.
• Resigned precontemplators have given up hope about the possibility of change and seem overwhelmed by the problem. Many have made many attempts to quit or control their drinking.
• Rationalizing precontemplators have all the answers; they have plenty of reasons why drinking is not a problem, or why drinking is a problem for others but not for them.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/stages-of-change/

[gma45]

Happy Birthday! Are you where you thought you would be at 21? Sounds like people care about you. And your boyfriend maybe right as much as you probably don't want to hear that. You might think about what he is saying. I hope you have a great day.

[RaggedyAnn67]

I really liked what Madisgram wrote about what to consider about where we are at mentally about drinking.

Using drugs & alcohol in the past are warning signs. People talking to you about their concerns about your drinking is a warning sign.

From repetative experience trying to 'control' my drinking, heavier use would always follow. Heavier use...major warning sign.

And, my main concern for you relates to personal experiences that I still go through! Your 21 and legal to drink now. It is way easier for you to get alcohol and hence use more. And, there is the mental satisfaction of being old enough to drink now. It's cool. We couldn't wait to get there!! Becoming of age is a 'right' and something we long for in throughout our teenage years!

Story: Just yesterday, I was sitting in the grocery store parking lot in my car waiting for my neighbor to finish her shopping. I had seen someone get out of a nice jeep. She went in and shortly came out with a case in her hand. She was my age (40's). I immediately became jealous. She was living the life that I used to really think was cool and the way to live. Sporty car, alcohol, watch a game on tv, hang out with others and 'kick it up' etc. I actually thought about the fact that I am old enough to drink and could go buy alcohol too. The stigma still lies within me after 2 and a 1/2 years without it.

But then, I remembered, why do I need to drink alcohol in the first place?
Important to keep an openmind.