[Ackman12]

My drinking has now gotten back to pre liquor store levels. I finished a fifth of Trave Amaretto last night. Every day, I like to have coffee with amaretto in it. I killed the triple sec, and the other liqueurs. I just have so much **** going on right now. I have a 3" deep hole in my stomach, and it hurts a lot. Thaddeus keeps coming back, reminding me of our last drunken encounter, where I shot him twice. He tells me to start stealing bottles of liqueurs. It reminds me of this:

Know me broken by my master
Teach thee on child of love hereafter

And this:
Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way

I haven't ventured back into the drug world yet. But it's only a matter of time.

[Leed]

If you THINK you have a problem, you probably do. PLEASE try AA. They certainly helped ME after a 20 year drinking career! I got drunk to the point of passing out & having blackouts every single night -- and finally went to AA. They welcomed me with open arms and walked the walk with me. They gave me a "call list" so that if I had a hard time on non-meeting nights, I could call anyone on the list for help. They helped me understand the "Big Book" of AA -- which is like the Bible of AA -- we're not religious but we're spiritual. You can believe in any Higher Power you want just as long as you believe that there is "something" more powerful than yourself.

I NEVER thought that I could quit drinking -- but that first meeting was my first day sober -- and that was July 29th, 1993 -- and i haven't had a drink since. That was almost 19 years ago. Was it easy? No but it was SIMPLE. There's a difference.

PLEASE call AA --- drinking KILLS. I've been to too many funerals of AA members who went back out for 'further investigation.' Please don't die. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee