....surely only an addict could understand the meaning here when I say that doing everything is just the same as doing nothing...and suddenly I can't be bothered explaining it at all, but I will a little bit

I'm on my school break and it's the second week and I'm unhinging...and it's happening right in front of my clean and sober eyes!

I wake these days in a half arsed panic about whats ahead...better than a full on panic though, because I know I won't jam substances into my body and soul today, but a panic nonetheless.

My brain seizes up, untangling and retangling an entirely random itinery for the day despite only having the concentration span for 18 minutes tops! I estimate...and I can feel my skull expanding and contracting like a thought lung gasping for ideas.

wise people have uttered the word balance within earshot to me, others have written it down for me to view...and others still, have screamed it in my damn face!

what is this mysterious creature I must befriend to survive...as opposed to all the other examples of wisdom I have slain in order that I might slowly die high.

I'm sure the world won't mind it when I sit down and assume a vague mental posture all of my own for as long as it takes for me to accept and trust that if I go and fill my day up tooooo much I am done for, and if I force upon the day a vacuum of activity I am equally done for!

gently does it....DM

[Leed]

How long have you been clean/sober? You're right -- easy does it! We can only do what we can do -- and sometimes we can't do THAT.

If you're newly clean/sober, do like I did --- I used to have to take it a minute at a time. Looking into the future -- even to the end of the day was just too much for me. I could only take it a tiny bit at a time. That went on for months!!! Some of us recover more slowly than others -- there's nothing wrong with that.

And sometimes we come close to a relapse -- so we have to use our "original tricks" and steps that got us clean in the first place. Go back to the beginning & start over. If you're using a 12 step program, go back to Step #1. Keep working the steps -- those are the only things that keep me sober.

And remember K.I.S.S. -- Keep It Simple Stupid. LOL Best of luck! Hugs, Lee

Originally Posted by Leed

How long have you been clean/sober? You're right -- easy does it! We can only do what we can do -- and sometimes we can't do THAT.

awesome Leed!...that suits me perfectly just now, thankyou.
...and it's sometime since mid January so I guess about 3 months yep.

it seems like a lot longer because time has a different effect now, but it's still very early recovery for me..

[madisgram]

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” – Albert Einstein

Walking the tight rope and finding balance to me means perfecting all of these areas nearly 100% of the time and this is exhausting and unatainable. Stability is real balance and comes from doing things well 80% of the time and leaving yourself and and your mind that 20% leeway to breathe!

http://zentofitness.com/finding-balance-in-life/

...thanks so much J

Albert!....he really said that huh?...thats very cool!

I was writing something about the 'keep moving' thing the other day and had pretty much no idea what I was on about and there you have gone and made it all excellent clear to me...awesome!

...I pretty much don't have a clue what I'm on about nearly a bit more than all of the time madisgram...it's funny that....not always amusing but true all the same.....

I guess if I don't know what the heck I'm thinking...as long as I'm not drinking....then I aint sinking