Truely Amazed

I'm truely amazed by the power of addiction... How It can turn a kind hearted child into a cold hearted weapon of destruction... When I choose to drink/drug I become a wrecking ball that lays waste to everything in my path...Thinking only of myself and not caring about those I've hurt along the way...When I drink/drug it's all about me...The people I once cared about are now just obsticals...There In my way...The fear in eyes and their broken dreams mean nothing to me... I'm oblivious...

You're absolutely right. Alcoholics & addicts are selfish people. We think only of ourselves when in the throes of active addiction. The disease is telling us that we are the only one that counts, and that WE aren't hurting anyone else. But I think we REALLY know that's not true because we can see the hurt in our familys' eyes -- it's just when we're active, we don't care. We CAN'T care because the disease takes over and tells us lies -- it keeps telling us we need more and more and more.

It's not until we hit that WALL - or hit the bottom - that we finally see what we're doing to ourselves and everyone around us. Then reality sets in, and that can truly be a painful awakening -- but it's one that can save our lives!!

i'm glad u posted, edge. you're right, alcohol promises us everything but in reality it takes away our soul, our honesty, our caring for love ones, etc. it isolates us. alcohol and drugs take our very being. yet when we drink/use we believe in it's power. what we've really come is powerless. alcohol rules everything in our life. we have no say. for me my getting sober, mind you at first it's not easy, has given me my life back. so have hope. you now realize what it has taken from you-everything. so you have that knowledge and perhaps desire to change your life.
i wish you well on your journey of discovery.

I can relate 100% Edge and thank you for sharing. Also thanks Leed & Madisgram .

I have hurt my loved ones and most of all myself while drinking. I'm also a big blackout drinker and from what I've been told I turn into a totally different person when under the spell of alcohol. One of the quotes I have in my signature below (something I told my husband when 1st getting sober) That us alcoholics are kinda like werewolves, we turn into a monster and can not recall what ungodly things we did the night before. This was very true for me during my alcoholic life. It's certainly a cunning, baffling disease that controls everything. As Madisgram stated since you have that knowledge maybe a desire to change is there. Best of luck and take it one day at a time .