[Mac Murphy]

Although I was able to stop for 16 months, back in January I started up my old fake Facebook profile again. For more that 4 years I had a fake profile of a young woman who was a lesbian. For part of that time I was very promiscuous looking for opportunities to be intimate as often as possible with other girls. This profile took on a life of her own and at times, especially when I was unemployed for well over a year I felt like I was her more than I was myself. After I was hospitalized I thought I would be able to shut her down for good but that lasted only 16 months when she came back with a vengeance. She was starting to ruin my life and threaten my career. My wife knew something was drastically wrong again and confronted me about it but I lied like I always do. Within a week she caught me in a lie and I finally confessed the whole thing. She had me go onto the Facebook profile and do a public confession that I was not in fact a beautiful 25 year old lesbian but was indeed a normal looking middle aged man with a serious mental illness and addiction to sex and other people. I am addicted to intimacy but I struggle to find intimacy in the real world. My wife is an amazing woman but our love life has been nothing special ever and has been dismal the last few years. On line I got to where I didn't even care about sex as much as I wanted close, intimate friends who I could talk to and love and care about even if everything I said was a lie. At least it was someone who would listen. Now that I have confessed everything, I handed the account over to my wife and she changed the password. I can never go back to that profile or use the stolen pictures I had been using. I deleted the Gmail account so soon Facebook will permanently delete the account anyway but the damage is done and I hurt a lot of people through my lies. Still I am addicted and want back on there. I want so badly to create another fake profile so I can have some friends again. My real life friends just don't get me so it is really hard to know how to relate to people in real life.

Has anyone else created a fantasy world because of their addiction?

How are you dealing with it?

What has helped you overcome this addiction?

Thanks,
Mac

[Leed]

No, I've never created a fake account, but I CAN relate to the difficulty in relating to peoplel in the "real" world. I have trouble with that myself. I really don't know why. I'm "shy" and I guess I feel "less than." I have always felt that way. I never fit in in elementary, middle or high schoo. I usually only had one or at the most, 2 good friends. Then usually they would move on, and I'd be left alone until I'd luckily find another friend who was like me.

I've been married twice -- the first was a long-term marriage which was awful, but lasted a long time, but ended in divorce -- thank God. The second was extremely short as he died. I'm now a widow, with absolutely no intention of ever dating again, or marrying again. I tried dating after my husband died, and it was a dismal failure.

I understand your wanting to have friends again, and wanting someone to listen. It's difficult to feel alone with no one to talk to or anyone to listen to you. Intimacy is one thing, but closeness is another.

Here you can have friends who will listen to you. We're like family here, and we all will listen to one another. Feel free to message me or anyone else. We're all good listeners. God bless & please take care. Hugs, Lee

[gma45]

No, I have never done that either. I was just thinking how those poor people must have felt being deceived. How devastating. I don't have a whole lot of friends in real life that I can talk honestly with about my feelings, so I would hope the ones I meet on-line would be some what real and honest. I guess that's just me wishing the world was a better place. Where a man or women's word meant something. Have you tried going to any groups for your problems? I know it does get lonely when know one will listen or understand but I don't think you have to be deceitful.

[tracist514]

Hey Mac, as a teen I created a few fake accounts and instant message names. But me & my friends would just prank people. It was nothing serious. However at times it did seem more interesting than being ourselves. But other than that I don't really have much experience with it. However I do know what it is too be unhappy with a relationship & have a hard time making friends. I'd say look into group like Leed said above. Maybe you and your wife should consider therapy as well. There may issues there that need to be addressed that could help you with your problem. I wish you the best and you should be able to meet some nice people on PC just by being yourself.

[somuchmore]

Sometimes we do these self destructive things because of deeper issues. I did something similar but on a phone chat thing. I pretty much fell apart. My husband eventually caught me, but somehow we worked it out. My husband is a good man but a little cold, so like you, I went in search of the comfort and companionship. After several heart to hearts we found out communication was not our strong point, and we worked on it. Maybe you could talk to your wife no holds barred. Tell her what you need sexually as well as emotionally. Maybe you can find a happy medium. I wish you the best.

[Girl_Interrupted]

.........

[allen645]

I didn't have to go through the same path but i can understand the pain of yours. Hope, you will find the peace soon. Best wishes for you.

[Mac Murphy]

Update...
It's been a few weeks now without a fake Facebook account and it has been hard because I was so addicted. But every day is getting easier. I have seen a marked improvement in my mind's ability to focus on other things...real world things. My relationship with my wife has a long way to go but one day at a time things will get better. It's hard losing what had become a part of my life but it is time to move on and be a better person.

[Perna]

Are you in therapy Mac? I created a fantasy world all in my head in the 1960's-90's (before computers :-) so have an idea what you are going through I think. Things might go quicker and easier if you talk to a professional counselor?

[seeker1950]

Hi, Mac,
That is brave of you to come here and admit your addiction. The cyber world has created a whole new genre of identity problems. Even here on PC there are people who are not who they say they are. Sad, and scary.

But in general, PC is a safe and supportive place. You will find help and encouragement there. I did. You will also make some true friends.

By the way, did you see the documentary, Talhotblond? It has also just been made into a movie on Lifetime. It is about the very subject on which you have posted. Someone was murdered, and many people scarred permanently because of identity fraud online. The only place I could find the documentary right now is on Amazon.com. The Lifetime movie may be viewable online soon. The movie, particularly, shows how addictive such behavior can be....and the consequences.

I must add, your wife sounds like a pretty great woman!

Patty

[Mac Murphy]

Originally Posted by seeker1950

Hi, Mac,
That is brave of you to come here and admit your addiction. The cyber world has created a whole new genre of identity problems. Even here on PC there are people who are not who they say they are. Sad, and scary.

But in general, PC is a safe and supportive place. You will find help and encouragement there. I did. You will also make some true friends.

By the way, did you see the documentary, Talhotblond? It has also just been made into a movie on Lifetime. It is about the very subject on which you have posted. Someone was murdered, and many people scarred permanently because of identity fraud online. The only place I could find the documentary right now is on Amazon.com. The Lifetime movie may be viewable online soon. The movie, particularly, shows how addictive such behavior can be....and the consequences.

I must add, your wife sounds like a pretty great woman!

Patty

Thanks Patty. My wife is indeed amazing.

I will have to look for that video. I was never a stalker and never attempted to meet anyone in person. I was just seeking intimacy I wasn't finding in real life. I want that but I am just not good at living life properly. Since I started some counseling things have been better. I am still going through withdrawals from this addiction and am having a really hard time staying away from creating another profile. But my wife made it clear this last time was the last time or she is done with me. I'm glad because I need to be scared of losing her to keep me going in the right direction. I just wish I didn't have this stupid illness that messes with my mind and makes it easy for me to do stupid things that hurt people I love. Not a good way to live life.

Mac