[xara_beth]

like the title says

[madisgram]

xara beth do you have personal concerns re heroin or just seeking info here?

[xara_beth]

Both. Sorry if the title seems a little forward... I was just wondering if psych forums also had a community for recovering heroin addicts, since that's partially what I'm here for.

[Cherry73]

I am a recovering heroin addict. Ive been in recovery for seven years.

[madisgram]

well welcome to the forum! i'm sure you can help and support others still struggling here. i've found by helping others it reminds me where i came from and the grateful life i have today. so very glad you joined here.

[johnf22881]

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. read the book, wrote the book, and the list goes on. You are not alone.

[xara_beth]

thanks. except i think i want the t-shirt back... there are stable days on the right meds that i would exchange for sack in a heartbeat

[johnf22881]

Well, I burned the t-shirt so you can't have it back lol. Anyway, on a serious note, what are you on meds for?

[xara_beth]

Dee presh shun. Boring stuff. Heroin treated it as well, but it was also going to be the death of me. R u also on meds?

[johnf22881]

I was on medication for 17 years, but I don't take it anymore. It was a decision that I made with my doctor. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression, OCD, agoraphobia, and 2 personality disorders (6 different doctors, 6 different diags... hmmm).

How long have you been clean? If you don't mind me asking.

[xara_beth]

sometimes the doctors really scramble for diagnoses, don't they ? it's like they're afraid to say, "sorry, idk what the **** is up."
i've been clean since March of this year.

[johnf22881]

Good for you, that is awesome!

I'd say that doctors rush all the time to place a label on you/us/me/whatever! I got carted off to see a doctor when I was around 13 because I had more energy than any person on earth (not really, just sayin') and everyone wanted to slow me down so they could keep up with me... wtf!? I guess you could say that the mental health industry views the world as having a Prozac/Ritalin/Lithium deficiency! At least it feels that way...

[xara_beth]

Thanks!

How long have you gone without it? and you're right, the only diagnosis i actually believe about myself is major depression, because the one who said borderline was running a creepy, for-profit behavioral therapy business. in regards to the medication deficiency, everyone seems to have one who is not currently lining the pockets of drug companies.

[johnf22881]

I've been off medication for 40 days and D for 25. This is the first time I have been off medication since I started it (about 17 years). I have quit drugs and drinking on 2 other occassions. One time lasted for 4 years and 3 days and the most recent, still being on medication, lasted for 7 months and 13 days. This time IS different! The reason I say that is when I quit the 2 other times, the second I quit until the moment I relapsed drugs were on my mind and in all of my dreams; and now I don't have any of it on my mind.

Relative to the medication deficiency, I'd say anyone on the planet could fit the symptoms of something in the DSM.

Besides the prospect of death, what else made you quit D? I'm not saying that the prospect of death isn't a good-enough reason, just curious as to the why of things.

[Cherry73]

I also am on medication and my diagnosis differ depending on what doctor you ask. As far as the federal government is concerned, I have schizoaffective disorder, borderline personality disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder. The doctors treated me like a guinea pig for years with all the diffetent medications. I found one, abilify, that really seems to work for me. It also took me many times to get clean and stay that way. I did the thirty day inpatient rehab six times and finally went out of state to a six month program and that did the truck. I've been clean since November 21, 2005.

[xara_beth]

John and Cherry- congrats. Hopefully I'll have the strength (or whatever it takes) to stay off drugs as long as you have and not think about them all the time. The guinea pig feeling sounds familiar, except overdiagnosing probably has more to do with ego stroking and medication endorsements than anything else. John, how's not taking meds and staying off dope going? I know if I weren't on the meds right now, I would be thinking about D all the time...

As to what motivated me to quit. It had nothing to do with death, really. I think death is really the least of the problems that come with being an addict. I just didn't want to live the life of a junkie, because that seems a lot worse than death to me. I'd rather make the most of my time here on earth instead of spending it getting sick, doing the daily grind, scoring, getting high, and getting sick again. Yuck. You?

[johnf22881]

Originally Posted by xara_beth

John and Cherry- congrats. Hopefully I'll have the strength (or whatever it takes) to stay off drugs as long as you have and not think about them all the time. The guinea pig feeling sounds familiar, except overdiagnosing probably has more to do with ego stroking and medication endorsements than anything else. John, how's not taking meds and staying off dope going? I know if I weren't on the meds right now, I would be thinking about D all the time...

As to what motivated me to quit. It had nothing to do with death, really. I think death is really the least of the problems that come with being an addict. I just didn't want to live the life of a junkie, because that seems a lot worse than death to me. I'd rather make the most of my time here on earth instead of spending it getting sick, doing the daily grind, scoring, getting high, and getting sick again. Yuck. You?

Beth, you are doing really good and you should be proud of yourself. If your goal is to stay off drugs forever, you can do it. Everyone says to take one day at a time, so just deal with each day as it comes or do whatever works for you.

Not taking medication is incredible for me. I don't think about D anymore or anything I used to obsess over. In my case, the medication more than likely caused me to be bipolar, have OCD, and all the other things I was diagnosed with. In fact, I saw my doctor today and he is blown away by the results of me not being on medication - and he is in complete awe of the difference in me. He, in a way, admitted that somewhere a mistake was made by medicating me (of course I can't blame him because he is the last doc and there were 6 others prior to him). At this point, it is what it is and I am just going to keep going forward.

As to why I quit D: I hated the selfish animal I turned into, hated working so hard to lose it all, hated the fact that I destroyed practically every relationship I ever had, and really hated running the gauntlet all the time. There are a ton of other reasons, but all the reasons would turn this into a novel.

[Kbutler911]

I started with a prescription to Vicodin which kept me stable long enough to finish high school but things quickly fell apart after that. I feel all opiates are capable of the same level of addiction having been prescribed most legal ones and taken most illegal.

I started a goal of sobriety about 6 years ago with 2 years of terrible relapses causing me legal troubles and other problems for everyday life. I don't know what changed but at one point (maybe I burnt my bridges or enough friends had died) I stopped and stayed that way for several years. But I wasn't happy, all I did was sleep (about 12-15 hours a day, gained 60 pounds, and had the same absentee social life).

I see a psychiatrist who understands my avoidance to opiates and prescribes me stimulants to help me work through the psychosomatic and other physically related symptoms that cause me a great amount of difficulty throughout the day.

It was meant to be a short term solution but all drugs come at a cost, and even when controlled none of them work for me for long. I try to balance my life surrounding myself with more problems because I've yet to find a solution that works.

Sobriety is a great thing to be proud of, and I am ashamed I rely on chemicals. If you can maintain a positive attitude I have no doubt you'll do fine.