[gismo]

I,am so so ashamed and guilt ridden, the shame weighed so heaverly on me i did not want to get up this morning, as you know i struggle with booze ....well two weeks ago i managed to tapper down to 6 units per night..... this last week i've took the piss and gone stupid and gone right back up to about 15 units,last night was the last straw , i had 2 bottles of wine, i've let my self and family down. i need help really bad , i just can't seem to stop..... i've tried every thing,... when i was down to 6 units, the next day i was so happy,, i felt more clarity to life , i was begining to see through the misty fog at last that wavered over me every morning after a session ...now i i've ruined it , what is there left for me to try, my confidance is at an all time low anyway, i feel digusted and ashamed of not sticking it out on 6 units,
sorry it is long, but am desperate now, i want to be free of the demon in a bottle. thankyou for reading
gismo x

[optimize990h]

You seem ready to quit. Perhaps you need to go AA who have members who have gone through what you are experiencing. I hope you do not hit bottom and you can recovery to the point you don't need alcohol.

Take care.

[madisgram]

gismo you can start over your day at any time. based on what you wrote reminds me of exactky where i was quite some time ago. i had lost all hope. i felt i was doomed to live my life shackled to the ball and chain called alcohol. i wanted to stop drinking yet all i wanted/was compelled to do was drink. i couldn't live drunk yet i couldn't live without the drink. it's a horrible place to be.
BUT there is a solution. it offers hope. abstinence is the key. no acohol at all. if we drink-even a few-it sets off the compulsion to drink more and more amd more, etc. i've been sober for 24 years but i know if i drank now even just a little i would go right back to that living hell and probably die a drunk. i never want to drink again but i've learned protect my sobriety at all costs cuz the disease of alcoholism just waits for that opportunity to lure me back. my life is rich today. i can have choices today but i would lose all that i've experienced sober if i drank even one.
i just awakened and on the first java but i had to reply right away .hope awaits you. you have the willingness to stop but need to have others to guide you. after detoxing at a hospital i joined AA. for me they had the answers so i could regain my life sober. they offered me hope, joy, and my sanity returned.
sorry i'm fuzzy but please keep posting here. you will hsve our support too. not everyone chooses AA but for me it saved my life.
i feel your pain. please know if you stop drinking altogether your life, as you iive it, will be full of all this world offers. i can promise you that. if it happened to me, and i was a hopeless drunk, then it can happen to you.

[gismo]

madisgram, you sound so wise and i will beat this... thankyou

[Leed]

Gismo, my friend - Madisgram is right. Abstinence IS the key. It was for me and for so many others. I drank HEAVILY for more than 20 years, but one night I'd had enough. I was so TIRED -- so sick and tired of living like that. God, I wanted OUT.

So i called AA, and went to a meeting the next day. And that was the beginning of a new life, free of that demon alcohol. I never had another drink after that, and in July it will be 20 years God willing.

YOU CAN DO IT TOO. I have no will power -- so it wasn't that. It was support, and AA that saved my life. I would be dead right now if it hadn't been for AA.

Maybe AA isn't for you, but support is crucial. And abstinence is crucial. You cannot 'WEAN" YOUSELF off of alcohol. It's got to be cold-turkey. You have to just plain quit. And I know that if I could do it, you certainly can!

Please don't drink. I care about you and I don't want you to die. Love, Lee