[Leed]

Days of Healing, Days of Joy - a Hazelden book

"Loneliness is the first thing which God's eye nam'd not good".......John Milton

Loneliness is a dominant fact of life for many people. It is also a consequence - it is caused. Regardless of the reasons behind our feelings and actions of loneliness and withdrawal, no matter how valid and compelling those reasons may be, if we give the loneliness ball a push, it's going to start rolling. If we withdraw from company or make it difficult for people to get to know us, that behavior will cause loneliness. If we habitually wear an aloof, unapproachable expression, we will not be approached. What we do (or don't do) determines what we get. And like any habit, behavior which serve to isolate us come to feel normal, even inevitable, over time.

As long as we're alive, we're capable of building bridges between ourselves and others. Chronic loneliness doesn't have to be a fact of life. If we're willing to work at it, we can learn to reach out, make contact, and be comfortable in the company of our fellows.
_____________________________
Today, I will be the first to greet others and say a kind word.

[Tamster]

Leed u are talking about me there. I am aloof and have been told so sense high school and that was 32 yrs ago. I live life in a 12x12 room in a huge house and never leave. I have come to accecpt the loneliness as my normal my family. but I don't like it any more I want out. I need to be able to converse first *I am silent with out the computer.

[avlady]

When I was in high school i was sooo alone. I had friends, but didn't want to go out with them because they were the rich girls and i didn't have nice clothes to wear, ones that were what the rich girls wore. The girls just thought i was shy, as i was always told, and i couldn't shake my lonliness until i got into college. Well its been over 20 years and I still feel that loneliness but am not lonely. I have my husband and son to keep me busy, have a small house, we own a car, things i never thought i would be able to handle.Put yourself out there by getting a hobby, or volunteering or do something that involves people. It sounds hard i know but once you get used to the people they get used to you, hopefully some positive things will happen. Good Luck!!!

[Leed]

It's funny, but sometimes I can be in a room full of people, and still feel lonely. It doesn't matter if I know them or not. Most of the time I feel like a square peg in a round hole, and I've always felt like that.

I don't have any friends now, but when I did they were always talking about someone else and I've always found that really rude and downright lousy. I'd rather talk about the weather than about other people! So instead of standing with the women who were being catty, I'd leave and go chat with the men, who WEREN'T being "lousy." lol The women probably didn't like that and that's probably why i don't have friends now. LOL

Today, I don't mind being alone. I feel comfortable in my own skin and even enjoy being alone. My son lives with me, but we don't "converse" alot. I do spend alot of time in my room, and I actually look forward to being alone.

There's a difference between loneliness and being alone.

[JadeAmethyst]

I have been "socially challenged" since childhood. The shy one. Little girls were playing dolls, and little boys were climbing trees, now that appealed to me. My best and most loyal friends have been my dogs, and playing out in the woods. Kids were pretty ornery to me, got bullied a lot in h.s. cuz of being a bookworm, kinda nerdy. Still nerdy, still have my dogs.
Spent 16 plus years in the military, so guess I am bossy, impatient, and direct. Not popular with the ladies I meet cuz I cannot for the life of me give a hoot about who's doing what to who, or be nice to your face and stab you at the same time. Just too darn tired for that stuff.
After the military, I wanted to do something "good and useful" out from behind the desk....so silly me....got into eldercare, nursinghomes, rehabs, and Alheimer's Day Program. So bottom line sometimes it's just ok to be quiet.
Jade

[JadeAmethyst]

Oh yes, hubby works from home, and he travels a lot, so the pups and I and the garden, some trips to coffee shop, and library is my idea of a great social interaction. Easy breezy, and it's ok. So lonely and alone, I'd have to agree it all depends on the situation and circumstances.