[notz]

They say sobriety can be a little rocky around anniversaries. I say that is true for me. The last few months have been a little rocky in my personal life. Not because I want to drink but just living life on life's terms...not always easy on any day on the year. One foot in front of the other or on some days, "one bleeping foot in front of the other bleeping foot" Yeah.

I keep having wild, fantastico using dreams. The kind that make me sit up in bed, some nights in a cold sweat or even from a nap, just screaming. Alcohol is always there in some shape, form or fashion. So far, I've come close in my dream but I haven't taken a drink.

You know what? I am so the alcoholic! I'm more aggravated that I don't get to drink in my dreams than with the fact that I'm having the stupid dreams. Maybe that's the challenge I have this year...not picking up in my dreams!

And then I think, "how grandiose is that kind of thinking?" Who am I to think I have any control of my subconscious much less my dreams? The dreams will subside and come and go as most alcoholics know from experience. Struggling for a reason why is kicking my butt, I guess I'll just let it go.

[gma45]

First off congratulations on your up-coming anniversary. I think just letting it go is the answer. For some reason we always want to be in control of everything, I know that is the way I am anyways. Maybe just repeating the serenity prayer every night before bed might help. Heck, I don't really know but it is worth a try. I wish you the best notz.

[Leed]

Hi Notz ~ Which anniversary is it? A year? Whatever -- HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, and let us know when it is!

You know, I used to have those alot too. And I was almost GLAD I had them, because they were GREAT reminders of how AWFUL my life was when I was drinking. Even when I woke up sweating and scared, I was thankful! There were MANY times when I woke up and I wasn't sure if it had been TRUE! I had to sit there for several minutes and think thru the past night to make SURE I hadn't really been drinking. I remember a couple of times I had to ask my family if I'd come home drunk the night before! LOL Scary. But still, they were good remiinders of the hell that I'd come from.

Today, I don't have them anymore. It's been many years since I've had one. So rest assured that they DO STOP. Like gma45 said, surrendering to the fact that you cannot drink anymore sure does help. And you know what? Life doesn't end without alcohol. I've had MORE FUN without alcohol than I EVER had WITH it. I didn't know what fun WAS when I was drinking.

God bless Notz -- and again, Happy Anniversary! Hugs, Lee

[notz]

I have extreme gratitude that I gave myself the gift of sobriety June 5, 1993.

[justmemaybe]

congrats ((notz))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))

[splitimage]

Big congrats ((((Notz)))) That's awesome.

I'm lucky - I don't get that many drinking dreams, but when I do they freak the heck out of me.

splitimage

[gismo]

Way hay....... happy sober birthday so they say in AA.
congrats......
gismo x