[spondiferous]

I just wanted to share with you guys today that I am 7 years clean and sober. The last substance I put in my body occurred on July 31, 2006. August 1 is my clean date.
Today I will be gardening, going to the food bank, enjoying time with friends, eating some of the surprise cake my partner made me, attending a yoga class. My life is very different today. Mental illness, personality difficulties, relationship stuff, family stuff, it all still exists. But it is so much more different, so much more manageable.
I remember the hopelessness. The struggle. The sickness.
I remember the self-hatred, the loathing, the despair.
Anyone in any of those places...I am thinking of you today. I encourage you to message me if you need someone to talk to who will just listen and not judge you.
I encourage everyone here, no matter where you're at, to just keep going. It goes up and down. It's not a perfect journey. There have been so many times in my recovery where I have questioned why I bother staying sober at all. But of course I don't have to go very deep inside myself to find the answer to that question. Whatever I am going through, it could immediately be made a hundred times worse the second I pick up a drink or a drug.
Life is not boring in recovery - anything but! I am constantly confused and overwhelmed by the variety of choices and events available to me now, by my capacity to experience them now.
Keep going. Don't give up. Whether or not you're sober or clean right now. Keep going. Don't give up.
If you are sober, and struggling, I have a story for you.
I received word last night from a close mutual friend that another friend we know, who had something like 5 years clean and was working as an auxiliary counsellor at the recovery house we went through, relapsed on meth, moved back in with her abusive ex, and is now being abused again on a daily basis, and won't talk to anyone.
Keep going. Don't give up. Yes, it can be better, and it can always get worse.

[winter4me]

KUDOS!!!!!!!!THAT IS WONDERFUL TO HEAR.
I DO HOPE ALL WHO ARE STRUGGLING FIND HOPE IN YOUR POST!!!!

[gayleggg]

CONGRATULATIONS! A lot of wise words in you post. Thanks, Gayle

[splitimage]

Congratulations on your 7 years. That's awesome.

splitimage

[notz]

7 years is a long time! Congratulations!!

Congrats on 7 yrs clean, sober, & free!!!!!

[winter4me]

I wonder if Marlborochic would talk with you...she isn't ready yet for a change.

[spondiferous]

Maybe. I'm open to anyone, anytime. If you come across anyone who needs help, is waffling or ambivalent or scared, feel free to send them my way. I must admit that I don't check in on this forum all that much, which is strange since I have such intimate experience with it. I guess I end up doing my duties as a community liaison, and trying to keep in touch with the forums that support my ongoing issues, and I feel pretty stable in this area for the most part. But ever since Leed's passing I am going to try to keep a closer eye and be more active, maybe start some discussions and stuff for people to get more active and maybe put some positivity into it. Active addiction is one of the bleakest places to be...

Thanks everyone for your well wishes and your kind thoughts.

[Mustkeepjob32]

Congratulations and your post was so encouraging. I'm just ready to give up alcohol for good, and while I know it will be hard, I am looking forward to decreased anxiety to the point that I can maintain a job and have money coming in weekly.

[gma45]

Way to go! It is so nice to hear that someone made it and is doing good. I am hurting right now because of a friend that may not make it because of this terrible disease. I wish you the best.