[AngstyLady]

So I finally gave it up about 6 months ago, and it's been so hard. I have tried several times in the b=past- besides the psychological addiction, it was very hard to give up because I had been using for a little over ten years and it had become so much a part of my identity. But I had started to develop a smokers cough, and my throat hurt- My grandma died of breast cancer, so I knew I needed to take better care of myself.
Plus it had stopped being fun, I smoked alone, as I didn't want anyone to know I smoked because I had told most people I had indeed quit years ago- and so it became a very paranoid and isolating endeavor. But now I'm adjusting to being regular old me. Which is hard, because smoking weed made me more outgoing, even if I didn't smoke everyday, the aftereffects lasted for a few days- now I'm readjusting and getting used to just me and being comfortable in my own skin again. I feel like I'm in high school all over again. lol. I'm more of an introvert - an ISFP so my current job is emotionally exhausting. Note: I've been looking for another job for two years now . . .
I wish I could be the witty person I once was. I still am, but in smaller doses. I've had to just give up all the extra frivolous acquaintance relationships I had because I couldn't keep it up, I'm learning that I'm really a low energy person.
Sure, I can be intense and fun to hang out with, but I need a lot of down time to recharge. I wish I could just crawl under a rock some days.

[IndieVisible]

If you don't mind me asking, why did you quit? I hear it helps a lot of people, and with medical marijuana soon becoming more common and all. Its interesting you said it made you more out going. For me it was the opposite. It brought out my paranoia and anxiety in a really bad way. So I never cared for it. But I know people my age (57) that still smoke at evenings and they swear by it. I understand your cough. But why not bake some brownies instead?

[AngstyLady]

It made me super paranoid and I was already reclusive because I was depressed and it wasn't helping. It depleted my money, I was always alone. I barely had enough money to live on and it just kept me unambitious and content with the ****** quality of life that I had. my life was basically wasting away. It's not for me. Maybe if I had a better job and smoked only occasionally- but I tried that already- it's just too addictive for me.
I used it as a crutch for social situations, but then I wouldn't remember the great conversations I had with people so it just made my life worse.