[2moody]

My x-husband has just come home from a 2 year relationship with someone else. We are just friends now, but I thought we might be more, but he does not quit abusing alcohol, zanax, and elaville. He is having to be helped to bed ever night because he can not walk. My 13 year old daughter (her father) have been doing this for almost 2 months. When do we say enough is enough. I donot want to be an enabler.

[January]

Hello 2moody,

What you do, as an adult, is up to you, but your daughter should not be subjected to this behavior. It is not her responsibility to be the adult. She is the child and should be allowed that place as childhood passes all too soon.

Taking care of her father while he is in this state can be very, very damaging to her.

Take care,

January

[Raynaadi]

He's just going to keep doing it as long as it's allowed. Sometimes the best thing for a substance abuser is to be dropped on their *****. You'd help him more if you say enough is enough, and your daughter DEFINETLY doesn't need this. It's hard, but the tough love approach might be just what he needs. I finally got sober after the love of my life left me.

[MartynMoore]

Hi 2moody. I am new to this forum, so please forgive me if I repeat something somebody else has said to you already.

To answer your question, I think only you, yourself can decide when "enough is enough." Everyone can tell you what they would do in your situation, but only you know the exact specifics of that situation.

But it is true that it is a very un-enviable position you are in.

Is your ex in denial? If he accepts he has a problem, there are many places and routes he can go for help/ treatment. Obviously his doctor would be a first port of call, as may somewhere like Alcoholics Anonymous. I don't know if Narcotics Anonymous deal with prescription medication addiction, but if not, there must be a similar group that does.

As for yourself, and your daughter, there are support groups like Al Anon, that help the loved ones of people with addictions. Even if you decide you no longer want him living with you, you said that you hope one day that you may be a couple again. So until that time, these groups could support you through his present addictions, and hopeful recovery.

I hope all I have said makes sense, and is of some help to you.

Best wishes for you, and your family,
Martyn.

[MartynMoore]

Hi again. I have just phoned my local chapter of Narcotics Anonymous, and they do indeed deal with prescription addiction, if that is an option your ex might consider.

Also, forgot to mention in my last post, that another source of support for you and your daughter, may be your priest/ minister etc, if you are religious.

I hope I am not stating the obvious to you, but sometimes people are not aware of all the places they can go for help.

Again, best of luck, Martyn.

[Raynaadi]

Good posting Martyn!

[MartynMoore]

Thanks Raynaadi