Bf opened up about addiction and I broke his trust

Hi everyone,

I started dating this guy a little over a month ago and he opened up to me about an addition to opiates. He's very open about it, tells me when he's thinking about it or having cravings etc. He relapsed a week ago and was open with me about that, too. All in all, he hasn't given me any reason at all to not believe him or to not trust what he says.

He left his toiletry bag at my apt yesterday and today I saw a couple pills in there. I debated whether to look at them and, in the end, I did. I then debated whether to look up the code and, of course, I did. I was fully prepared to see "hydrocodone" pop up on my screen.......it was allergy medication. I started essentially bawling.

I feel like such a jerk right now. All he did was open up to me and I almost immediately break his trust by snooping. He's at work now but I know I have to tell him when I see him later tonight. I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just need to get this off my chest. I just feel like such a terrible gf right now. And I'm sorry if this isn't the appropriate place. I just don't really know where else to go right this moment.

Thanks for letting me vent.

hi misinformed
please dont feel so guilty. you were worried about him and that is why you checked the code on the pills. you needed to know if he relapsed so you could be prepared to support him in anyway you could. with an addict, it is unfortunate, but these violations sometimes have to take place to help keep them clean. what if they were pain pills? having that information and talking to him about it could have prevented him from taking them and got him back on the road to recovery. it just shows how much you care that you investigated. you can let him know that you saw the pills in his bag and they really worried you. that you thought he relapsed. you were really scared for him. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

Thank you so much. I hope this is how he sees it. When he told me he relapsed I said I was a little disappointed but mostly scared to death. He said I had every right to feel however I was feeling and he knew he'd have to work to stay sober and honest. That tells me that he has a realistic view on these things and hopefully that means he's accepting of my mistake.

Thanks again. I really appreciate the support.

So when he came over tonight I told him what happened and he was so amazingly supportive. He said under opposite circumstances he would have done the same and he understands why I was suspicious. I should have known he'd be so great about it.

Thanks again for your help and support. Glad this site exists

If you choose to be with someone that has problems - you have to protect yourself as well. Good luck with the relationship - with time comes trust and forgiveness if someone slips.