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  #1  
Old Aug 25, 2014, 09:38 PM
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puzzclar puzzclar is offline
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Why is it so hard to forgive yourself for addiction??????????

Over the past month I've been working hard to understand my addiction and now it all comes down to one thing. How do I forgive myself for something that originally was a replacement for something worse. Not only for addiction but for everyday mistakes...... like not wanting to study due to something that has been said in the States as "Senior-itis."

It's my last semester and there are a lot of unknowns which is registering in my head as us it as a trigger for addiction. so I did. And know it comes down to forgiveness yet again.

Any tips from those that have been able to forgive themselves for an addiction?

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  #2  
Old Aug 25, 2014, 10:00 PM
vans1974 vans1974 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by puzzclar View Post
Why is it so hard to forgive yourself for addiction??????????

Over the past month I've been working hard to understand my addiction and now it all comes down to one thing. How do I forgive myself for something that originally was a replacement for something worse. Not only for addiction but for everyday mistakes...... like not wanting to study due to something that has been said in the States as "Senior-itis."

It's my last semester and there are a lot of unknowns which is registering in my head as us it as a trigger for addiction. so I did. And know it comes down to forgiveness yet again.

Any tips from those that have been able to forgive themselves for an addiction?
Hi, sorry to hear...it is hard to forgive ourselves. The best advice I can give you is to start over and never look back. My pdoc says, we're idiots in the past, failures in the future, but perfect in the present...stay in the now!!! Best of luck, just move on, and live and learn. I personally believe like the big book, says the helpless addict, will always have cravings to use, but that we can learn to manage and control our cravings. You can forgive yourself, just don't look back, or your guilt will consume you! Best of luck and you'll be just fine!!!!
Thanks for this!
puzzclar
  #3  
Old Aug 26, 2014, 06:16 PM
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spondiferous spondiferous is offline
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Addiction is tough. Forgiveness is tougher. I think sometimes it's useful to put recovery slogans into use when it feels like nothing's working. One that has seen me through many times is "act as if". Act as if you have forgiven yourself: move forward, do positive things for yourself, allow goodness into your life, and continue your journey in healing and learning about yourself and the role that addictive behaviours play in your life. Do you have a support group (other than here)? I have found that essential in my recovery. Good luck with everything.
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  #4  
Old Sep 02, 2014, 12:16 AM
jessiewilliams jessiewilliams is offline
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I agree, we are just human being.
  #5  
Old Sep 02, 2014, 07:27 PM
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puzzclar puzzclar is offline
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I have a roommate but she's ticking me off more times than I can count, and doesn't know what is going on, partly because she would judge me for it in a negative way. Other than that I have driven more people away because I'm afraid that they will judge me harshly, just like the roommate. And yet her I sit tonight, wanting to use one more time today. There's been a lot on my mind, and it's not easy right now.
  #6  
Old Sep 03, 2014, 10:04 PM
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ramirorico ramirorico is offline
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Hello!

I had the same issue and my therapist suggest using self-compassion. When you mess up simply tell yourself it's okay. Treat yourself like you'd treat a friend.

If a friend came to you asking the same advice, what would you say?

Here's a link to an ebook about self-compassion. It's a pdf document and it'll open in your browser.

http://www.self-compassion.org/self_...n_exercise.pdf

====
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Click Here Now >>> Forgive me? http://trying-to-change-my-life-now.blogspot.com/ Trying to Change My Life one day at a time.
Thanks for this!
puzzclar
  #7  
Old Sep 08, 2014, 12:33 PM
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Altered Moment Altered Moment is offline
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Foregivness of self and others who may have harmed you is a huge part of recovery. By forgiving others you forgive yourself. People you may have harmed all you can do is make amends and try to make things right in whatever way makes sense. Never make amends in a way that may cause further harm and you can't expect forgiveness from them.

Letting go of shame and self forgiveness is essential. A key way is confessing every thing to someone you trust very much without holding back anything. Secrets can kill us.

All we can do is keep moving in the right direction overall and not backwards. Learn from mistakes and forgive. Progress not perfection. Three steps forward, two steps back and you gained one step.

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The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman

Major Depressive Disorder
Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun.
Recovering Alcoholic and Addict
Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide.

Male, 50

Fetzima 80mg
Lamictal 100mg
Remeron 30mg for sleep
Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back
Thanks for this!
puzzclar
  #8  
Old Sep 08, 2014, 06:33 PM
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puzzclar puzzclar is offline
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My goal is to stay clean for a week. I'm two days away, yet I want to use again. I have so much studying to do, but have no desire to do that right now. what I want. is something I have to strive not to do. I'll see pdoc tomorrow.. so not looking forward to it. But there's another concern.
  #9  
Old Sep 08, 2014, 08:09 PM
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Altered Moment Altered Moment is offline
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Almost a week clean is awesome. Way to go. Of course you have urges. I found I needed lots of help and support to overcome my addictions and I still smoke cigarettes.

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__________________
The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman

Major Depressive Disorder
Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun.
Recovering Alcoholic and Addict
Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide.

Male, 50

Fetzima 80mg
Lamictal 100mg
Remeron 30mg for sleep
Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back
  #10  
Old Sep 08, 2014, 08:37 PM
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puzzclar puzzclar is offline
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Issue is I really don't want to call anyone and I'm home alone when my risk goes higher. I have classes to study for and no desire to do them.
  #11  
Old Sep 08, 2014, 08:53 PM
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Altered Moment Altered Moment is offline
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Are you honest with your pdoc about everything?

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__________________
The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman

Major Depressive Disorder
Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun.
Recovering Alcoholic and Addict
Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide.

Male, 50

Fetzima 80mg
Lamictal 100mg
Remeron 30mg for sleep
Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back
  #12  
Old Sep 08, 2014, 09:19 PM
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puzzclar puzzclar is offline
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About 90% of the time. It takes a lot to be honest. I think he could tell because I didn't want to talk.
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