[jme1234]

Well it's about time I say it out loud, or in text. I'm an addict to prescription narcotics. I have been for a while now. I've always known it but never wanted to address it because it seemed so difficult to stop it. Now, today, I have realized it NEEDS to stop. I know it's going to be hard but I'm allowing it to control my life. I have a kid and I just don't think he deserves a mother like this. I try to hide it but I think he's at an age where he's now seeing it. I have a viable reason to be on prescription narcotics but I never take them correctly. Today though I realized I'm going to be taking someone down with me and they don't deserve it. I had another account on here but realized how public it was. I'm going to try and figure out how to delete it. Prospective employers probably have seen it. That's another thing, my addiction is controlling me screw up job after job after job. I need to take control and I need help but I need to know if anyone on her is able to. I'm not good with large groups of people or people in general so I'm not going to go to a group meeting but I'm hoping that people on here can help me. I need it. I want it and I want this to be over. I'm to old to let something or someone take control of my life for me. I think it's time to be in the drivers seat. Does anyone have any advise for me?

[Moogieotter]

Hi,

Sorry you are suffering. Admiting is a huge key step. Do you have health insurance? There are many options I can speak of, but I doubt the advice and perspective of some community members will be anything close to what your recovery will require.

Message me as needed.

moogs

[jme1234]

I have health insurance but unfortunately they don't cover things like simboxen because they suck. I can't go to rehab due to issues with my ex husband so I'm kinda stuck talking to people on here. I don't trust anyone to talk to about this really. Plus my family is rather judgmental and cruel. I plan on talking with my boyfriend tonight but I'm scared he'll leave me. But I have to be honest with him. He deserves the truth and he does notice. Just scared I guess. I got to a point today where it was really really hard and I had to take my anxiety medication to calm myself down. I just hate my depression and the pills have always made it numb. Facing the pain scares the crap out of me and I don't think therapy works.

[spondiferous]

Congrats on getting to that first step (admitting it). Recovery can really look like anything you want it to look like, but it's a huge effort. I am here whenever you need someone to talk to, just message me. But I do think you will likely need something else. If not support meetings of some kind, then counselling (one on one and/or group), perhaps outpatient treatment/support. You're right, it will be a lot of hard work, and the more people you have in your corner, the better and the faster recovery will be for you. This is my experience, anyway. I have done it many, many ways. The one that finally worked for me was doing anything and everything: treatment, groups, counselling, programs, all of it. I am far more relaxed in my approach now, and nearing 9 years of sobriety. But recovery is really a you-get-out-of-it-what-you-put-into-it kind of deal.
All the best! And I do mean that you can message me any time, about anything. I generally check in at least once a day.