i have posted before about these things but am doing so again since i still have resolved none of them... and i need to because avoidance is only adding to stress...

#1--teeth.

my teeth are really bad. my shame is still preventing me from going in to the dentist (also it takes me awhile to get there). it is funny how i have less shame around having bad teeth because of drugs, throwing up, genetics, poor nutrition than shame due to poor oral hygiene... still, regardless of the reason, i am ashamed and i have been avoiding. sometimes i figure, hey, i am going to lose my teeth soon, anyway! which is absolutely a ridiculous reason not to go... i have lost so much enamel i barely have teeth left.

#2--housecleaning.

my house is still an absolute disaster. i have got some useful comments about how to get started but i still have not. i did get rid of a garbage bag of stuff, that was a start, given i am a bit of a hoarder... but the mould, dust, etc is terrifying...

#3--parents

i am financially dependent on my parents. disability, but also parents. however, i have not seen family for over 6 months. for my own sanity i have avoided them. my dad keeps texting and i keep ignoring him... he wants to see me... if he gave me a day i could come up with an excuse. but what excuse can i come up for any day?

i know it must seem like i am an awful person for taking money and then not seeing them. they can cut me off, of course. and i have been stuck with guilt around family for far too long... i am not in a place to cut myself off financially, though i have done so before for the sake of my sanity. it is probably more rude to just ignore him... but what do i say? i really think that if i did see him, i would relapse.

tomorrow the drop in dentist place is open... maybe i will finally go... probably not, i have been claiming that i will go for so long....

since i am clean and since this is not directly about drugs perhaps this should not go here. however, i think that addiction is more about life than about substances. and despite 14 months clean, 2 rehab visits, i still do not know how to live... i have heard of people going back to rehab with 2 years clean but i dont know... i dont think it is necessary.... might be helpful...

Imo getting your teeth fixed may give you a bit of a boost which could start a domino effect of positivity. Feeling good about yourself is vital. I want to take pride in my home when i feel good about myself and i feel more like socializing. Try it. What harm can it do? Dentist see really bad teeth everyday all caused from different things. And congrats 14 months sober! Are you kidding me that is one hell of an accomplishment!!! Thats over 400 days. One day at a time.

[sammo777]

Teeth: make that appointment. those teeth are a daily reminder of your past. Fix them, if you can afford it.

House and parents: perfect opportunity to clean that house! Invite the parents for lunch -- show them how well you're doing.

14 months sober -- well done you. Keep going! x

My teeth are shot (meth mouth), so I've been having them pulled as they crumble. I've got 14 pulled with gaps, but plan on bridges, dentures, or implants. I'd rather have no teeth then what I had. A lot of the abscesses and blood and pain has disappeared. A few more to go!