[Wander]

After years of an addiction to pot I quit last Wednesday. It has been a rough few days but I think I am almost over the physical symptoms or withdrawals. Now I find myself becoming increasing upset. Not about anything in particular so it is hard to pin point the issue. I have a trauma history but I am not having flashbacks now. It just feels like all the pain, fear and trauma I experienced are coming to the surface and it terrifies me. I feel like I will lose control which is why I am on close observations in a psych ward.

Has anyone else had all their issues come flooding back when quitting an addiction?

[Moogieotter]

It's very common. I'd say the first 18 months of sobriety was a flood of a whole range of emotions with vast episodes of self-discovery and learning to process reality like a real person again. Many times I felt like a teenager and was picking up where I left off before the addictions. Like a time warp.

Yeah, you probably have your own deep and meaningful personal journey that you've started. For me and many others, it's a process. It's not like after 2 months clean *poof* you're cured and back to some state you were before. It never ends, the wonderful self-discovery and difficult temptations. All part of my journey.

Am exited for you.

moogs

[Cat_Lover_58]

When I got sober back in '87, I experienced a wide range of emotions and thoughts. It was an up/down thing, certainly not fluid. It'll even out and then things will be sweet sailing and then you'll be down, but you WILL manage those changes. Best of luck!

[Wander]

It is just so confusing dealing with bipolar as well. I don't exactly know what is bipolar and what is addiction related. I have a hard enough time managing my bipolar and now this. I guess on the plus side i am well trained in dealing with mood shifts. I just feel like all the pain, grief, anger and fear are bubbling up from deep with me.

[godog]

Originally Posted by Wander

After years of an addiction to pot I quit last Wednesday. It has been a rough few days but I think I am almost over the physical symptoms or withdrawals. Now I find myself becoming increasing upset. Not about anything in particular so it is hard to pin point the issue. I have a trauma history but I am not having flashbacks now. It just feels like all the pain, fear and trauma I experienced are coming to the surface and it terrifies me. I feel like I will lose control which is why I am on close observations in a psych ward.

Has anyone else had all their issues come flooding back when quitting an addiction?

Yes!! I was doing pot every night for 3 years. When I decided to stop it was miserable. I'm still paranoid (my doctors say delusional). When I stopped I was irritable and flew off the handle at the littlest thing. I also had more flashbacks and nightmares and got real jumpy and impulsive in public.

Ya know even going to NA, the people in there said that my pot addiction wasn't a real addiction like heroine or methe. And I'm sitting there freaking out and can't get my head straight.

[Wanderlust90]

Originally Posted by Moogieotter

It's very common. I'd say the first 18 months of sobriety was a flood of a whole range of emotions with vast episodes of self-discovery and learning to process reality like a real person again. Many times I felt like a teenager and was picking up where I left off before the addictions. Like a time warp.

moogs

I second this completely.

Since quitting shard (methamphet) I felt like I returned to the same stage of life I was in prior to starting using. Like many parts of my personality had changed & I didn't realise until they started to go back to normal. I felt like I was 20 again.

[Wander]

It's been 9 days now and I feel I have kicked the addiction. But my past is bubbling up to the surface still. I totally understand how you 'feel' younger as I feel like I'm in my 20's and I'm 39. It somehow stagnates your growth. Can't say I'm a big fan of the flood of emotions returning as they can be very strong and dark. It is a difficult path to navigate while remaining safe.

[Moogieotter]

Hang in there, Homie. Keep posting.

It gets so much better as you heal.

[Wander]

It is easy to quit pot while in hospital as I have no access but take me to a party with joints being passed around and I am not sure I am strong enough yet to say 'No'. I think I am going to have to be careful where I go for a while. I also had an alcohol dependence which will be even harder to avoid. I think I am going to let myself drink at social occasions but not on my own. I just can't imagine giving it up completely. My doctor increased my Lithium, added Saphris and removed regular clonazepam. As I was on 8mg a day of Clonazepam it will take me a while to ween off without having major withdrawals. I want to be off it though as it clouds my thinking and i have university starting up in a month. Hopefully I will be able to get discharged next week.

I am feeling a bit better but not quite strong enough to live alone surrounded by temptation. I have thrown out all my pot, well my Mum made me throw it out, and told my dealer not to sell to me anymore (he is a good friend). My Mum was very mad at me for smoking all day everyday as it was sabotaging my mental health. I have never seen her so angry with me as she is a beautiful, gentle soul. He love for me rove her rage. With one hand I would be doing all I could to be mentally stable and with the other I would sabotage all my efforts. Why I don't know.