I have never let this out on PC before but it is something I struggle with every so often.

Specifically Ecstacy because really it is the only time that I feel truly at ease, not scared, not panicking ect.

I am not sure If I am ready to make the next step yet, but this post was a good first step I think.

Hope noone is offended by this post.

[splitimage]

Rainbowzz,

Admitting that you might have a problem is a good place to start. Lots of people abuse drugs or alcohol to change how they feel. Changing is hard but it is possible. Have you talked to a Dr. about what treatment options might be available to help you deal with anxiety as well as with stopping, when you're ready, the ecstasy.

Good luck and feel free to post here as much as you want.

---splitimage

Thank you splitimage.

I will continue to post thanks!

The next step is to fully disclose to my doctor whats REALLY been going on all this time.

But, this was a big step for me and..thats enough steps for right this moment i think. one thing at a time.

[tranquility]

Good for you! It's true - admitting it is very hard but the first step to recovery. I think discussing it with your doctor is a good idea. There are lots of resources out there to help you, just look in the yellow pages. And keep posting here - we want to help!

Tranquility

[Raynaadi]

Baby steps Rainbozz. And we'll help you take them....you're definitely not alone. I know when I first admitted I had a problem with alcohol, it was such a relief to know I wasn't alone. When I told my doctor....it was SUCH a relief not to lie anymore.

Good for you for reaching out here, keep posting!!! It helps us stay sober to help you, so if you're ever weary of posting, remember you're helping us....

[DePressMe]

There is no way this post would offend me. I would never judge you negatively for struggling with drug abuse—it will not change how I think of you—Other than it might actually help me because I know you can better relate to my struggles with alcoholism and drug abuse.

Good first step by admitting it here. PM if you ever want to chat or need a little support.

Thank you for all of your help.

I feel better and stronger for just admitting it.

I have made an appointment with my doctor for next week so that I can ask for the help I so obviously need.

Things have been ok, I have stayed clean since making this post. Though, I have to say I havent really been presented with the opportunity to use. But, I am still looking at it as a good thing.

Thank you all ((((((((all))))))))

[Raynaadi]

((((( Rainbowzz ))))))

Good for you hun!!! Be sure you're honest about it all with your doc, and he/she'll be able to guide you in the right direction.

[ChrisM]

Hi, you are not alone! I am Bipolar with PTSD and, I have a drug addiction. I find it helpful to go to AA or NA meetings. Alot of people dont understand how hard it is, I myself am starting to realize the problem I have, its not easy but living sober is worth it, I'm told. Good Luck, hope you get better!