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#1
Apr 10, 2016, 07:35 PM
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Today. I have had 8 years sober in the past. I am an alcoholic....I relapsed at the end of 2013 and now have 2.5 months sobriety....I struggled again for 2 years. I am struggling NOW. Which is why I still say "I am an alcoholic".
However, looking back on this 2 months...I have gone thru so much ******** and I still haven't drank. After 19 years working the same job..and making a lot of money...I no longer have that job. Every day I panic about my future...but have been dealing with the panic sober. I live with somone who is addicted to CRACK/COCAINE. Everyday is a battle. I was just watching Intervention and they say "Most need help to get sober". I'm watching the family members on Intervention and seeing what pain they go thru...the same pain I am going thru with my addicted boyfriend...BUT...I AM ALSO struggling with the thoughts of drinking. I have watched Intervention for YEARS...and only today I realized that I am NOW on BOTH sides..and it is really difficult. I am sober...and right this second I am GLAD. I wanted to drink all day today. But, the realization that I am strong...is that I am telling myself it is OK to be proud of stopping...and maintaining sobriety. I just hope one day...I can say I WAS an alcoholic. When I had about 5 years sober...I switched from saying "I am an alcoholic" to I WAS...because once you don't use for a period of time...the cravings pass...the mental torment passes...and when a person reaches that point..I believe it is THEN healthy to put your label in the past. I am still an alcoholic  ...fighting everyday....
Last edited by notz; Apr 10, 2016 at 10:24 PM. |
 Fuzzybear, Sabrina
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#2
Apr 10, 2016, 09:21 PM
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I'm in a similar situation except with drugs. I was clean 3 years then relapsed 5 weeks ago. I'm getting very strong cravings . I hate it .
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#3
Apr 10, 2016, 10:27 PM
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Quote:
__________________
 notz |
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#4
Apr 11, 2016, 02:46 AM
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I wish you much strength with this struggle.
I stopped drinking almost 9 months ago and presently have no craving or desire to drink at all. Ever again. My husband thought I might buckle when Amy died but I just showed him the tattoo I got to celebrate my sobriety, and told him that was my promise to him. And to me. I have never told anyone (except my husband and mother) that I am an alcoholic. So when people ask why I'm not drinking, I just say I don't feel like it. But I do sometimes wonder if I can say "I was an alcoholic" and not I am an alcoholic".
__________________
 Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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#5
Apr 11, 2016, 08:03 AM
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Quote:
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 Sabrina
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#6
Apr 11, 2016, 08:05 AM
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Quote:
 ...I do catch your train of thought.But, I disagree with it...In the 8 years I had sober I developed back into the cucumber..it was as if I never drank...I was a whole different person. And didn't feel the need to give "alcohol" any identification with my life during that time. |
| notz
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#7
Apr 11, 2016, 08:06 AM
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| cryingontheinside
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#8
Apr 23, 2016, 02:31 PM
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__________________
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