[Jan1212]

*trigger*


I want to talk to.my ex so bad but he has no phone and doesn't want to talk to me anyway. I want to just talk. He understands me and how I'm like..he's knowledgeable about H. and he's been sober. I got really into it since I have experience starting IVs at my job I just went for it cus I've been depressed lately. I have fibroids -I think because it hurts so bad when I cramp so I used .1 each day for 2-3 days. I feel the withdrawal -I think, I'm too tired to get up in the morning. I have a pdoc but he's so been proud of me we started a riendly relationship outside of work and I don't want to take anything anymore. I haven't slept well lately and my mind is clouded. I'm so scared of what my life will become because I've watched my ex-husband lose everything. I was there the whole time paying his bills, visiting him in rehab, bail, him getting fired, hospitalizations, and I'm afraid that'll be me

Part of me says I can easily stop wheneber. But then why am I fearful

[cryingontheinside]

It sounds like you are in addiction and that's why you are fearful. You know what the future can bring if your addiction continues.
Its been about 6 weeks since I last used drugs. I have cravings to use. Its hard fighting it off.
Do you think you could want to stop using ? I know its not easy. If someone knocked on my door right now and offered me drugs I think I would take it. That's how vulnerable I am. I really hope you get the help you need. I know it won't be easy. But you know if you continue your life could fall apart . I wish you the best .

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[Jan1212]

Thanks so much. I slept and feel much better. It's hard. I'm thinking about going to a meeting but I've been there before and that also triggers me from the past. He's not answering me and it saddens me because he was supposed to be my friend. I had a craving" just now but your post helped me a lot