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#1
Jun 08, 2016, 12:36 PM
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I have been struggling to get clean for 8 years now, 4 inpatient, 3 outpatient, 4 halfway houses, jail, homeless and nothing left. I have tried everything they have told me. Sponsors, readings, work the steps, 90 meeting in 90 days but I always get bored with it a use. I'm just wondering if I'm one of the unfortunates? It's scary to think that I can't make meaningful connections in recovery, I think this is because of the borderline personality disorder, I want meaningful relationships just can't seem to make that connection. Please help!
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 Skeezyks
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 Jan1212
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#2
Jun 08, 2016, 02:20 PM
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Hi,
It's a lifelong challenge for many. What was your longest and strongest attempt like? You seem like you know yourself pretty well at this point. Is using still fun? I am revolted by the idea. Is boredom your trigger? You will def have to find new things to occupy your time and for me this took about 2 years. Good Luck. moogs
__________________
Current Status: Stable/High Functioning/Clean and Sober Dx: Bipolar 2, GAD Current Meds: Prozac 30mg, Lamictal 150mg, Latuda 40mg, Wellbutrin 150 XL Previous meds I can share experiences from: AAPs - Risperdal, Abilify, Seroquel SSRIs - Lexapro, Paxil, Zoloft Mood Stabilizers - Tegretol, Depakote, Neurontin Other - Buspar, Xanax Add me as a friend and we can chat 
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| Jan1212
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#3
Jun 08, 2016, 06:34 PM
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It's not fun.
Boredom is definitely my trigger, I e tried to do different activities but I become bored with everything. I just feel so hopeless. Longest I was clean was 6 months |
| Jan1212
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#4
Jun 08, 2016, 07:55 PM
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It was really hard and bad for the first 18 months for me. I had to change my belief system, core values, and approach to life. It has been a complete transformation.
What are you willing to change to get and stay clean?
__________________
Current Status: Stable/High Functioning/Clean and Sober Dx: Bipolar 2, GAD Current Meds: Prozac 30mg, Lamictal 150mg, Latuda 40mg, Wellbutrin 150 XL Previous meds I can share experiences from: AAPs - Risperdal, Abilify, Seroquel SSRIs - Lexapro, Paxil, Zoloft Mood Stabilizers - Tegretol, Depakote, Neurontin Other - Buspar, Xanax Add me as a friend and we can chat
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| Jan1212
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#5
Jun 09, 2016, 07:06 AM
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I've been fighting addiction to alcohol since 2005. Longest clean time was 14 months. Currently 14 days sober in my most recent attempt. Something that's different for me this time, is that as I ended my last binge, I realized I didn't want to die. That seems to be helping my motivation in the early stages at least.
I've also started taking Antabuse, so I'd get really sick if I drink. I know it's not for everyone, but it really helps me. splitimage
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 "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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| Jan1212
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#6
Jun 09, 2016, 10:58 AM
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Have you tried service work? I threw myself into it and it helped me stay busy and less bored. I also embraced physical activity, that sucked me dry of anger and helped me sleep.
__________________
 notz |
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