[Juliaspavlov]

I was so tempted to drink(sober 23 years)..and I mesmerized myself almost thinking about antidepressants in the drawer....

over and over in my head i asked how to fight the feeling....the pure frustration feeling ..a waiting feeling...for what?..I don't know...I've never known...but it's a feeling that makes me want to drink....so i tried putting on my CD..of Aretha Franklyn and Otis Redding..and I danced and sang my heart out...I cried and I screamed and sang opera style...

and it worked. But I'm so sore in the muscles today...+ my voice is strained...and my throat hurts...like I've got flu...maybe its a singing, dancing hangover??? for me.Believe me I don't have a big head but I feel like a champion. I'm not sure if I can do this each time but!!! because as I said before i feel like a train wreck..from the physicality of it.

[tranquility]

Julia - that is fabulous!!! A sore throat and muscles is much better than putting down 23 years of sobriety!!!!

I've been sober a little over 3 years and I have had a couple of instances where I've been very tempted. I know one thing that keeps me sober is that I don't want to go back to my AA meeting and say that I went out and that I'm starting over - whatever works.

Good for you! I'd tell you to celebrate your victory but you may want to rest today

Tranquility

[splitimage]

That's great that you did something fun instead of picking up. I'd settle for a singing hangover anyday. And 23 years - that's just WOW/

--splitimage

[Raynaadi]

I'm so glad you didn't throw away 23 years!!!! Whoo hooo!!!!!

[Juliaspavlov]

thanks tranquility,splitimage.Raynaadi, it means a lot to me that you replied.Some ppl take sobriety for granted. and I didn't like admitting it can still be tough after 23 years. Some of my friends still get me to try drinking again but I know from my family that a nil by mouth approach is best. ...my struggle against an addictive personality or genetic inheritance still goes on...and can be tough at times. ....thanks again and luv to all those struggling out there...luv Jjulia.

[Raynaadi]

I NEED to know that even people with 20+ years still have it rough sometimes. It reminds me that I need to stay constantly vigiliant and grateful because any one of us are are just an arm's length away from throwing it all down the drain. Thank you so much for sharing and letting me know that the tools still work even after 23 years!!!!!

[undertheradar]

Way to go!! I almost relapsed in February this year. I ended up in hosp for a month to get my meds regulated. I was on so many different combos of meds that they f'ed up my head. Finally meds for BP are good and relapse thinking is gone. Again, WAY TO GO

UndertheRadar

[Raynaadi]

((((( Radar )))))

So good to see you! My computer won't let me chat....I've seen you in there and so wanted to say hi!

[Juliaspavlov]

Thanks Undertheradar. I'm sorry I didn't see your reply sooner.That's very kind. Sorry for what you had to go through.

kind regards Jjulia