[rachel_]

I've decided I need help with my drinking. I have't had a years-long drinking problem, but over the last many months, the pattern I've gotten into has shown me that I probably can't drink "responsibly" and I probably need to not drink at all. I cannot do this on my own and need help to stop and stay stopped. From a person who has not had a years-long drinking issue, this may seem silly, but I feel very strongly that I have a problem and I do know that I can't taper off and drink only a little each day any more, even though I've only been in this pattern for about 10 months solidly, with other short bouts of over-drinking in the months and years before. The only think that stopped me was the fact that I was working, and I drank responsibly to keep my job. Now that I have no job and live alone, I have no reason not to drink to excess. I came to drinking late and love what it does for me, but I can't drink socially. I start out early in the morning and drink though the day now. I feel pretty strongly that I'll continue in this pattern and it will probably only get worse because I have no reason to curb my drinking, I've resisted the idea of AA because I like to drink and hoped I could drink responsibly, but I'm not able to. When I start to drink, I keep drinking until I pass out, then I start again.

What is a first AA meeting like?

Thanks in advance for any help.

[Moogieotter]

Hi Rachel!

I'll post details later! Glad you've examined yourself and want to change.

[rachel_]

Thanks😃.

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[Moogieotter]

AA is cool.

It's basically a free fellowship to help people recover from alcoholism. There's some variation from group to group, but I'll give you the basics.

Before the meeting, people will be hanging out and socializing drinking lots of coffee and usually smoking a lot of cigarettes. If you are there significantly early a few people who don't recognize you might introduce themselves to you they might suspect you're a newcomer, and they're just genuinely trying to help you feel welcome.

The main meeting room will have lots of chairs and will be a few chairs in the front for the leaders. The leaders are just regular members who have volunteered to lead. They are just regular alcoholics working on recovery. When the meeting starts it will usually go in this order:

1. Recite Serenity Prayer.
2. Reading of the 12 steps.
3. Reading of the 12 traditions.
4. Reading of The Promises.
5. Reading of a daily devotional.
6. Open sharing - people can just start off saying who they are and either tell a story from their experience that relates to the daily devotional or really say anything they want. If it's a busy meeting it's probably a courteousness to limit your sharing to about five minutes. You are really expected to just talk about your own experience. You don't want to get into giving advice or what's called crosstalk by addressing someone who's already shared directly.

This open sharing will go on for about 45 minutes and will be the bulk of the meeting. As a newcomer you don't have to say anything you might ask to be recognized you might share like normal but you can just do whatever makes you most comfortable.

If you do share you will start off by saying who you are first name only. If you don't some people might stop you and ask "who are you?" As it's just a courtesy to let them know your first name it's up to you if you declare yourself alcoholic or not.

You can absolutely go to as many meetings as you want and not ever say one word. It is perfectly fine to simply go and listen. One thing that is often explained to the newcomers is to listen for similarities in what others are sharing and not get lost in the differences.

Normally, you only share if you want in a dive in format. Sometimes a meeting will go around the room. If you are asked to share, you can just say "I'm just here to listen thank you." And they will move on.

It's important to understand that each person in that meeting had to be a newcomer once, and they want to be warm and friendly to help you. They know its scary, particularly sharing or even showing up without a buzz on.

7. Chip Ceremony. Chips will be given to celebrate times of continuous sobriety. If you like the ideas, you can pick up a white chip and get a hug. Its total honor system. Some people pick up dozens of white chips and its all cool to struggle especially early.

8. Pass Collection Hat. Most people put in a few dollars to cover literature and such. Newcomers are asked not to give.

9. Lords Prayer and Close. Some super progressive groups skip the prayer. Some hold hands or count off. Not a big deal.

Afterwards, more socializing. Some people have a coffee group and go hang out. You do have a chance to network and find sober friends if you want.

If you heard someone of your gender share things you really relate to, you can talk to them. You might even find a sponsor or someone you can call to help you get to meetings and support for staying sober. There's no pressure. No judging.

This was a lot to type out on ipad. I hope you try a meeting or two and hear some good information. PM me if you need.

moogs

Hi Rachel. A meeting is basically as moogie explained it. Everyone in the room is equal, there is not social cast system there. You go, introduce yourself that it is your first meeting. Then after the meeting you get three phone numbers, one of a sponsor, and two friends. The sponsor is temporary until you decide you want to make them permanent or get another one. It is best to stay with someone you just click with. And i recommend reading the BB big book and the 12 and 12. Ask for those two books in the meeting. You will learn a lot. Just open it and read it. Basically do not feel overwhelmed. everything is one day at a time and learn how to pray the serenity prayer. I journaled in my early days of what the meetings were like and what i got out of them. and in time i would go back and read, and see my spiritual growth of how i got through what i thought i never could. it is all about you... you... and you... doing for you... "to thine own self be true"... and truth is the key word. Truth to yourself, God and your sponsor. It is anonymous and you do not have to explain yourself to people. Just listen, take what you need and leave the rest.. .blessings and tc

[rachel_]

Thank you both. I appreciate the help.

[rachel_]

I finally did start AA on 6/2 and am glad I did. I'm working on keeping myself sober and implementing the first steps into my newly alcohol-free life. When I walked in, I immediately felt welcome. Thanks again to all who answered my question.

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[Moogieotter]

Hooray! We're here for you!

moogs