[LiteraryLark]

I really scared myself this morning when I woke up and realized how much I drank. I drank almost two bottles of wine by myself. My friend came over and we had a very long philosophical conversation over a bottle of wine, and I had already drank most of a bottle before she came over. I was so into the conversation I didn't think twice about how much I was drinking. I went straight to bed when she left and I don't get hungover, but today I'm going to act like I am and really pound the water today. I know my parents are gonna freak when they find out how much I drank and I'll probably get spoken to about it. I've never consumed or tolerated this much alcohol before. I was just so focused on our conversation I didn't realize how much I was drinking, but when I woke up to find that both bottles were empty and she only had half a glass, it really tripped me out. The only kind of hangover I get is paranoia which I'm definitely feeling now. I think I need to reevaluate how much I drink. I'm not even depressed or emotional when I've been drinking lately, I've been drinking with my friend and it's not a whole lot either, usually only two glasses, but I've been drinking a lot more lately and I think I need to stop.

[ogeez]

HI
Until we admit that we must stop, we dont, we just keep saying "I Should". I thought for years I should slow down, I should stop, its controlling too many of my thoughts. it finally came to the point that everything I was doing, Id think "Im not doing that/going there because I cant drink" It creeps up, takes over and we are the last to admit it.My suggestion is to not let it become a habit while you are young still. You are aware of it, you sound smart - prove to yourself that you are diciplined and have self control. Dont let the wine help you with your friend, dont let the bottle tell you it puts you at ease, go do something with your friend, go out, without wine- be active- walk. talk. Booze free- its not as "easy" cause you dont have your wine crutch but its much healthier and she'll be more in tune with you too if you drink less. Good Luck!

[leejosepho]

Ethyl alcohol is a "social lubricant" of sorts, and A.A. has this to share about that:

For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. (A.A. "Big Book", page 151)

So at first glance, I would guess your recent "over-drinking" just kind of happened absent-mindedly or whatever while you were deeply engaged in an enjoyable conversation...and if that is so, maybe just try to carefully keep what happened in mind the next time there is alcohol present while you are more focused upon something other than consciously drinking for the effect. But then if you find this kind of thing becoming frequent, you might consider a simple "self-test" we recovered alcoholics sometimes suggest:

We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom [or even while still at home or anywhere else] and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink [just two or three drinks] and then stop abruptly [for a day or two]. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition. (pages 31-32)

If you might already be or might at some point begin to become like "one of us", so to speak, you will eventually discover powerlessness over alcohol while drinking...and then at that point we can talk about possibly also being powerless over alcohol while sober...and then there is where our Twelve Steps typically come onto the scene.