[Creeture124]

I relapsed today after 3 months or so of bring clean out if the hospital. I've been an IV herion user for almost 4 years. Was using a little more than a gram a day before I quit.

I feel so guilty right now. I've no self harmed and I can't keep my mind from racing. I suppose to tell my girlfriend if have done eithe but she is currently in mental health facility, im terrified if I tell her it will trigger her or.she will brake up with me.

I used because when I was walking down the road when I caught a wiff of Irish springs(( a body wash)) and sweat and it sent me for a flash back when I molested. And I started to freak out......And I needed these feelings go away so.i went and got my fix.

But now The guilt is killing me, I feel like garbage, I feel like I don't deserve another chance at this life now. I've failed, I've failed myself, my.girl friend. My.therpist, I've failed everyone......
What do I do? Do I tell.my.girlfriend? How.am I going g to.handle life if I can't want down the street with out the most intense urge to use? Im so lost right now.peole.....Please.help

[Misssy2]

You have to let it go because the guilt and shame will probably make you continue to use ...

I know what this feels like...I go a couple of months without my addiction and then screw up. And then I realize using didnt take away any of my problems or feelings and just intesified everything.

I always have to remember (in order to get out of it)..that I am working hard on being clean and I don't want a slip to take everything i have worked hard for away....

I wouldn't tell anyone and after a few days..the guilt will pass...and you can just get back on track with your therapist and your relationships.

In the meantime be kind to yourself...eat well...sleep the best you can...and remember to do the next "right" thing. My sponsor used to say...Do the right thing and right things happen.

I'm sorry this happened to you..and it sucks...but try and move past it today..you are not a BAD person...you have an addiction...addictions are strong...keep fighting.