[Broken81]

I have a major problem when it comes to money in the fact that all my life I have never been able to budget or manage my money effectively which makes me fall deeper and deeper into my problem and becomes a lot worse but now I feel as though am in so deep I cant see the way out anymore.

The main problem I have is spending beyond my means to the point it cant get so out of control that bills and other things that need to be paid go unpaid which then causes me undue stress and anxiety as to how am gonna pay them so I then made the mistake of overdrafts and taking money from family and now am paying the price for the things ave done.

My OCD with spending is not for material things it's more online spending on virtual games and cam sites especially the cam sites I get a taste of it and want more and more and continue spending what I need to get more it's just a never ending circle.

Sometimes I get upset when I hear of people going on fancy holidays or going out and doing fun stuff like going to the cinema or the theatre then you have me sat in the house constantly feeling isolated and alone as I would love to be able to do normal fun things like that but am so useless with money it just seems impossible, I try saving up but that lasts in my saving for a day before am wasting it on things and spending when I don't need so I give up hope of being to live and manage money in a proper way

[leejosepho]

Nothing you have described sounds to me like OCD or addiction, just some obsession with instant gratification...and I have in days past had that same problem. Money seemed to me to fall from trees when I was young and I never learned to handle it prudently, so it was quite logical that I eventually spent it foolishly, frivolously and even lazily while trying to attain/maintain a sense of satisfaction and leisure comfort.

Breaking your bad spending habits will not be easy, but it can be done by setting goals (possibly in conjunction with one or more other people) and denying yourself the cheap thrills of days past.

[splitimage]

Hi Broken81,

You are definitely not alone. I struggle with compulsive shopping, and it's gotten me into major debt in the past. It seems like once every decade I find myself in serious financial debt. Up until recently, I had good jobs and was able to pay it off. Then in 2011-2012 I was unemployed, depressed, and drinking and shopped my way into 44K in credit card debt. I had no options except to declare bankruptcy. That was hard, but it got me out of a crisis, and forced me to learn to live on a tight budget.

Some suggestions. You may have a community based credit counselling agency where you are. We have them up here and I was required to attend credit counselling as part of the bankruptcy process and I found them really helpful in building a budget.

Next get rid of your credit cards. I know that's a big step, but if you really need something most places accept debit so you're not running up more debt. I only got a credit card again in the last 6 months, and it has a very low limit. I'm using it rebuild my credit rating more than anything else.

There's also the program debtors annonymous. I've never been to one, but I know a couple of people who had serious debt problems, who found it quiet helpful.

Stopping compulsive spending is really hard. I recently made an agreement with my addictions Dr. that cutting it out all together wasn't a feasible goal for me right now, so we're trying harm reduction instead. Each month I set aside 40 dollars that I can just blow on whatever I feel like, but once it's gone I have to wait until the next month. This has really helped me, because at the beginning of the month, I'll see something I want, but then don't want to spend the money in case I see something better later on. It's hard but it's working for me.

Good luck with it.

splitimage

[Happy_Heather]

When I am in a hypomanic phase, I go on impulsive spending sprees that are often detrimental to my family's finances. It can take us months to recover. I am really good about setting up budgets, but because of my spending problems, keeping them can be tricky. I think that splitimage's suggestion of dropping credit cards is a very good one. They will only hurt you. Finding credit counseling is a great step, too. They can often teach you how to budget your money. Sometimes, community colleges will offer continuing education courses and may offer one on personal finance. I know that the one near me does. It's certainly worth looking into.