Daily Check In #3

I hope you get leveled out, Desoxyn. Quick cycling is no fun.

Congrats split, that's quite an accomplishment.

Is that nicotine spray available in the U.S.?

I looked it up and apparently not. I'm in Canada..

Thanks, splits!

I wish weed didn't make me panic so I could smoke it all day every day

Then I can sit and watch movies instead of multitasking and never finishing one thing and listening to music.

Weed makes me go into psychosis it doesn’t matter if it’s hybrid or sativa or indica. Sativa would make me paranoid didn’t matter what I smoked it would happen. CBD on the other hand I like it but it doesn’t like me. Weed did help with the pain for me but being in psychosis 24/7 didn’t help me at all.

It does that to me too!

Had sort of a wake up call. I'm drinking way too much to the point of not remembering things every weekend. Need to just stop completely, as it doesn't seem I can just have one or two drinks. So. Goodbye, alcohol, I hope. Sobriety: day 2.

Welcome littleearthquakes. It's great that you recognized your alcohol use was becoming problematic. We're here to support you in your sober journey.
splitimage

I'm a little nervous. I'm almost out of Antabuse, and can't afford to get more right away, as I seriously overspent this month and am going into Feb. with a deficit.


I'm still totally committed to staying sober, it's just going to be a bit harder without that safety net.

splitimage

I understand; I'm also nervous. I went over my prescribed dose of Xanax this month, so I'm having to take less and it's taking a toll on my anxiety this month.

Been snorting a small line of 30-40mg ketamine because it wears off after a few days and I get really melancholic or worse, numb. 4 days behind on my Concerta because I'm waiting for the doctor to increase the dose. Filling my lost days in with Vyvanse. Addicted to nicotine spray although I quit smoking 3 months ago. Idk when I can get off the nicotine spray. Drank two drinks of alcohol when skiing even though I knew it would make me feel depressed. Doesn't take much alcohol to do that. Got rid of the DMT because I was afraid that I would use it and then get locked up in the psych ward for the rest of my life. Got rid of the MDMA too. Haven't touched my Ativan. I have 19 left and only use them in case of panic attacks.

I think I'm doing good so far in terms of addiction. It's almost non-existent compared to what it used to be.. The point is to be sober which is why I also want to get off nicotine spray.

Well done splitimage!

I reached 1,300 days today sober from alcohol.

It’s the pits though I have possible kidney stones I have had pain for 2 weeks the hospital thought it was UTI then kidney infection. But it’s definitely Stones my doctor is thinking. I am severe pain the most I have have taken is ibuprofen...nothing more and nothing less.

Congratulations on hitting 1300 days greentires. That's awesome. I aspire to get into 4 digits on the days.

I am so sorry you have kidney stones. I've heard that they're incredibly painful. I have a friend who gets them periodically.


Are you going to have to have ultrasound treatment to blast them into smaller pieces that can pass?

Well I was at the hospital 4 times first they diagnosed me with UTI then a kidney infection i took antibiotics that made everything worse. I went to my doctors on Thursday and explained or gave him a symptoms list of everything that has happened. And he said he thinks it’s something immune system something or rather. Then I showed him my left flank and it’s swollen like really swollen. But not as much as Monday. I harsh lost weight the easy way puking but it smelled like sulphur which totally means kidneys in my mind last night and every other 2 nights a week. Always seemed to be the nights I receive my meds from the pharmacy on delivery. Yeah so I did my bloodwork yesterday waited hours on end to get it drawn a literal hour between the time I sat down to the time i went in. And about another 20-25 mins before I left. By the time I got home it was 10:50am and I left at 8:15 at my house.

I Thought I would be able to sleep but I feel like crap. Someone keeps texting me and Facebook calling me at 4am it’s now 4:30am. Lol. I went to sleep at 12:30am after I took meds someone dropped off money they owed me at 10:45pm. I wanted to go to bed early but I guess not.

I’m going back to sleep for now.

Still tooling along - 587 days now. Not posting as much; starting to really think of myself as a non drinker and about the only time I think about the subject of drinking lately is when I get on a forum to discuss not drinking. It's been several months since I last thought about doing it and even then the urge was easy to kill.

That's great UpDownAround that you're no longer thinking about drinking. Hope it continues for you.

So, going for day 1 sober today.

I have been doing better the past few months but ultimately I’m still drinking too much. I managed a week and a half sober in January but in the end I gave in to cravings.

I need to polish up on my coping mechanisms. I’ll get there though. I want to beat this.