It was never the alchohol I wanted, it was being the life of the party that appealed to me. Not being shy, being vivacious, entertaining people ect.

It was also never the drugs that I wanted, it was the feeling of happiness and freedom from my mental hangups and negativity that I loved.

The drugs and alchohol were just a path to get there. The wrong path. I guess I need to figure out how to cultivate those things within myself without going for the route that is so damaging.

Going on five and a half months now that I have been clean from all but those damn cigarettes.

One step at a time though.

[Raynaadi]

Good for you!!!!!

Yep, alcohol for me was but a symptom. It provided a way for me to be what I thought was myself. Now I'm still the life the party, still the entertainer, still my hyper self, all without the substance.

For awhile, alcohol was my solution. Until it hurt more often than not.

Gotta love those aha moments eh?

[splitimage]

Congrats on the clean time. Alcohol is still an escape for me, from me. But it's good to realize what drugs and booze did for you and that you can still have some of those things without them.

--splitimage

[DePressMe]

Wow, how did I miss this thread?

Rainbowzz, congrats on 5 and 1/2 months--thats great!

Lols, I thought alcohol made me the life of the party but now that I think back on it, I realize it was more like the clown.