[DePressMe]

I quit taking my antabuse. I don’t recall making a decision to quit taking it. Somewhere along the lines, I just stopped putting it in my weekly pill planner. I am not even sure when I stopped taking it—maybe a couple weeks ago. When I first realized I had stopped taking it, I rationalized it by saying my insurance co pay more than doubled so I could no longer afford it. The problem with that theory is that I still have over half a bottle left and its already paid for…

Work has been stressful. Life in general has been stressful. One of my old patterns was to let the frustrations and stress build up so that in the evening I had an “excuse” to drink. Last night, I realized I was falling into that old pattern. I have not been dealing with my frustrations or stress. I have been ignoring them and just letting them build up. Although I have not had urges to drink, I think I was in the process of setting myself up for a relapse.

So what now? I need to address the stress and frustrations in my life and deal with them. I have grown stagnant in my recovery program. Recovery is more than just not picking up a drink. Recovery is about how I live my life.

Another member shared about her relapse here on PC. That is what opened my eyes to my behavior. I am extremely grateful she was honest and willing to share her struggles because I think it helped prevent me from picking up. Thank goodness she made it back…

Yes, I have started back on the antabuse.

[Raynaadi]

I'm so glad you saw what was happening before it was too late. I'm so glad we have a little fellowship here of people who understand. Without having other people in my life who understand, I don't know what I would do.......

I learned a lot about myself last night too. Even though our group is small here on PC, we still have so much to offer each other.

[Cyran0]

I don't know ANYTHING about antabuse but if it keeps you sober, I'm glad you went back on it.

Cyran0

[splitimage]

I'm glad that you went back on it. I don't want to read into things, but I was thinking of your post in the supporters forum about depression and how you'd maybe been giving too much of yourself lately. It reminded me of HALT - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired and it made me wonder if any of those things were factors in your letting your recovery slide a bit and going off the med.

Take care of yourself.

--splitimage

[DePressMe]

Yes, split, I think you are right on the money. I was letting myself get too tired...I was not taking enough care of myself in general.

I am extremely grateful that I did not let my recovery slide any more than it already had...Thanks to you, Ray and everybody else here, I am starting to get back on track.

[Raynaadi]

So glad you're getting back on track!!!!!!