[Raynaadi]

Where to start.....I went back and listened to old threads, and found the old gratitude thread I started in oh seven....WOW. To listen to all the things I had listed brought back so many amazing memories. Some of it was hard to hear, like talking about my cat who has since passed, and the job I had before going blind, and the joy of the new apartment and so much else. But it renewed my gratitude....even now, with all I've been through these last eight months, I have a really amazing life. I can't even organize my thoughts to post I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude.

So improvement.....possible just possible improvement with my vision. The "shadows" I see seem a little more defined. I've been noticing it ubut haven't put much stock in it since I've gotten improvement before only to loose it again. But wouldn't it be amazing if if I get just enough, just enough to see the screen? Or my boyfriend's face? Or my thirty year old self? Or my cats? I used to say I'd never live to see thirty because of the way I lived....now I joke that I'm really not going to "see" thirty LOL. I put my face right up to the mirror and I can just make out the contrast between my pale skin and black hair, and I can just make out my eyebrows moving....I don't know guys.

Send up prayers or good thoughs and crossed fingers to the universe or higher powers or whatever gods.....I sense a possible miracle coming guys, and it wouldn't be coincidence if it happens after I'm back here......PC saved my life until I found sobriety, wouldn'ts suprise me if I could see again after all the warm fuzzies I've gotten here the last few weeks. We shall see.......

Happy first day of oh nine everyone, to my old friends and new ones.

Love,
Rayna

[madisgram]

rayna, lots of hugs to you. what a miracle that would be for you to regain some of your sight!!! i will pray for god's will for you. we at this forum are already god's miracles and you have such a grateful heart. may only the best be bestrowed on you.

[Raynaadi]

How right you are. We are all most certainly miracles. I'm still so thrilled that I made it to thirty. I really never used to think I would until I had about a year sober. I kinda freaked myself out since I was flying the day before my birthday lol. Sure was hoping my old gut feelings weren't right .

Getting ready to head out to a meeting soon. Forums sure seem slow today. Hope everyone's still sober LOL.

Hugs,
Rayna

[nowheretorun]

(((Rayna))) i am glad you are still letting us know how its going, sorry i havent replied more.. sending you more hopes and cares now

[splitimage]

(((Rayna)))

It truly would be a miracle if you got some vision back - that would be amazing. But what impresses me is how you've managed to stay sober, active in AA and be positive through all of this. You have a great attitude.

Happy New Year's and I'll be thinking of you when I do my daily meditation.

--splitimage

[free2beme]

(((Rayna)))... love, heart throb, love!

you are a miracle and a blessing to us all.... hugs, hugs, hugs

the hope and positive attitude you share is a so uplifting!

i believe in miracles.........and i will certainly continue to

pray and believe for one for your continued improvement

to perfect vision and health, precious one.

[Raynaadi]

Hugs Nowhere, Split, Free Hugs

My friend asked yesterday if what I see is like looking through wax paper and that was a pretty perfect way to describe it. So now I'm seeing the glwglow of the laptop screen through the wax paper. I can make out cats when they move in front of me. So we'll see if the wax paper gets less opaque lol.

I wasn't lalways this positive believe me. Its probably good that I couldn't be here in the beginning lol. I mean I was lalways sure of my sobriety but I hadn't yet started noticing he blessings coming from the loss of site. Its been a cople months in therapy and a new sponsor too that has helped with my attitutdes, and just getting adjusted.

There was one day I was on the pity pot, whiching I could see the rain noutside when when my "good conscious voice" said stop this......how miserable to want to be? what does the sign in the homegoup say, we absolutel insist on enjoying life. It was then that I made the decision to try and make the most of this. Just like I made the decision to stop drinking. I accept that I'm blind one day at a time. If I think about forever its too mch, just like with my drinking.

I have another motive for being happy wink. My " blind teacher" took me to Best Buy to show me how to ask for help in stores. Afterwards he said, you were so pleasent that the next blind person that salesguy runs across is gonna get good help, so you're a representative of the blind community now. So I look at that is practicing these principles in all my affairs. Just like I'm a representative of AA when I'm "out there", its the same with my so called disability, yet I don't see it as a disability. My eyes are disabled, not me.....

So its just a choice....to live life to the fullest no matter what gets thrown at me.

I won't lie though, if God decides enough ahas been gained from this and decides I should see again, I wouldn't complain teeeee heeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Hugs,
Rayna

[scooterb]

Wow, what an inspiration you are to all of us!!! Sometimes, I too, feel so grateful that it almost makes me weep. Interesting what a difference spirituality makes in living life. I'll continue to follow your posts for updates on your sight. And because I get such a sense of serenity and hope from reading your words.
God bless you,
Scooterb aka Lisa

[Raynaadi]

Oh hugs Lisa hugs. I got all misty reading your post lol. I sjust saw my therapist and one of thie things we're working on is how to accept that my story is inspirational. Not so much accepting it, but how to find that balance between being humb le and getting a big head.....I worry so much about staying humble that I tend to take the power out of my own experience for myself.....Its truly hard to find that balance I gotta tell ya LOL. There's times when I can just staay thank you, other times I'm like oh anyone could do it. I guess you saying the words finding serenity in my words......that really helps when its put that way. Wow, thank you.

Still about the same bit of improvement. Though i could see the movement of cars in front of us driving home from therapy today....And when I was eating lunch I caught the movement of the football game in the corner of my wax paper lol. So who kows. I finally feel a bit more recovered from jet lag tofay. Just put on a half pot of coffee yummmm. Today is laundry day so I'll just be chillin here. I'm enjoying the hthread in social about our little pc town. Anyone see that? Might listen to Harry Potter and rochet in a bit. Dunno.....very serene myself today. Smiley tee hee.

Love,
Rayna

PS Arizona is in its first ever bowl game and its actually kinda exciting me lol. BF was just yelling, we scored again LOL.