Daily Check In #4

MuddyBoots · Jul 21, 2023, 03:01 AM

As funny as this sounds, Naltrexone kinda makes me feel like I'm on opioids minus the high

buddha1too · Jul 24, 2023, 03:43 PM

I've been sober for a few 24 hours but I still get tripped up sometimes...I don't drink, but I still can still get into "stinkin' thinkin." I may sound like I've been brainwashed by AA, but I can't afford resentments. I've got fire in my belly today; the kind that would have sent me out drinking in the past.

I have a friend I go to baseball games and concerts with several times a year. I called & left a message to let him know what he owed me for a game we went to Saturday. I bought the tickets all the way back in March, which is a long fking time ago. He said he paid me back in March, which I didn't recall. It wasn't so much the fact that he thought he paid me, but it was the accusatory tone in his voice that shocked me. We've been friends for over 20 years, and his friendship was worth more than a few bucks to me. I'm not going to call him back until I settle down a bit...I just hate carrying around this resentment.

...So I thought I'd do an emotional drop here. Thanks for reading.

Buffy01 · 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buddha1too

I've been sober for a few 24 hours but I still get tripped up sometimes...I don't drink, but I still can still get into "stinkin' thinkin." I may sound like I've been brainwashed by AA, but I can't afford resentments. I've got fire in my belly today; the kind that would have sent me out drinking in the past.

I have a friend I go to baseball games and concerts with several times a year. I called & left a message to let him know what he owed me for a game we went to Saturday. I bought the tickets all the way back in March, which is a long fking time ago. He said he paid me back in March, which I didn't recall. It wasn't so much the fact that he thought he paid me, but it was the accusatory tone in his voice that shocked me. We've been friends for over 20 years, and his friendship was worth more than a few bucks to me. I'm not going to call him back until I settle down a bit...I just hate carrying around this resentment.

...So I thought I'd do an emotional drop here. Thanks for reading.

Congratulations

it takes

time

to deal

with addiction.

about how

your friend is treating you

Willcat · Jul 25, 2023, 07:44 PM

Doing well. No AV chatter worth mentioning.

iscreamparty · Jul 30, 2023, 09:50 AM

I'm going to try and stay sober today

Buffy01 · Jul 30, 2023, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iscreamparty

I'm going to try and stay sober today

buddha1too · Aug 02, 2023, 04:26 AM

I can really identify with the lyrics to this song:

Loial · Aug 08, 2023, 03:51 PM

Hey all, it’s been a while since I posted here.

I did really well in abstaining from alcohol. I was sober for a year and a half but along side my nurse I was seeing, we thought I’d be okay to see if I can moderate.

That must have been a year or over now but I have creeped up in usage again.. Now I am slowly cutting back and adding sober days by myself and looking forward to being sober again. I think it’s time to accept no amount of alcohol will do me any good.

Buffy01 · Aug 08, 2023, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loial

Hey all, it’s been a while since I posted here.

I did really well in abstaining from alcohol. I was sober for a year and a half but along side my nurse I was seeing, we thought I’d be okay to see if I can moderate.

That must have been a year or over now but I have creeped up in usage again.. Now I am slowly cutting back and adding sober days by myself and looking forward to being sober again. I think it’s time to accept no amount of alcohol will do me any good.

Awesome. Keep up the great work

Loial · Aug 16, 2023, 04:16 PM

Oops wrong chat.

Buffy01 · Aug 17, 2023, 06:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loial

Oops wrong chat.

It happens take it easy on yourself

3rd rock · Aug 21, 2023, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loial

Hey all, it’s been a while since I posted here.

I did really well in abstaining from alcohol. I was sober for a year and a half but along side my nurse I was seeing, we thought I’d be okay to see if I can moderate.

That must have been a year or over now but I have creeped up in usage again.. Now I am slowly cutting back and adding sober days by myself and looking forward to being sober again. I think it’s time to accept no amount of alcohol will do me any good.

I'm in a similar situation. After ~8 years sober, I began using again a few months ago. It's getting out of control again, and it has caused me to miss work today. I'm not using right now, but I feel sick from last night's use. I need to stop, but I fear I can't stop without seeking professional help.

Last time, I got sober by entering treatment. My mother paid for this as I did not have the means to afford it myself. I'm ashamed because I've let her down for no good reason. I feel like I have to hide it from her this time because of this.

3rd rock · Aug 22, 2023, 10:52 PM

I went to the hospital because I was extremely sick after using again last night. They're referring me to an addictions specialist.

Buffy01 · Aug 23, 2023, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I went to the hospital because I was extremely sick after using again last night. They're referring me to an addictions specialist.

It’s probably for the best

buddha1too · Sep 01, 2023, 06:47 AM

There have been relatively few posts here lately. I guess everyone has been cured of their alcoholism/addiction. Sorry; I'm just being a smart arse...

Buffy01 · Sep 01, 2023, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I'm in a similar situation. After ~8 years sober, I began using again a few months ago. It's getting out of control again, and it has caused me to miss work today. I'm not using right now, but I feel sick from last night's use. I need to stop, but I fear I can't stop without seeking professional help.

Last time, I got sober by entering treatment. My mother paid for this as I did not have the means to afford it myself. I'm ashamed because I've let her down for no good reason. I feel like I have to hide it from her this time because of this.

It takes time.

Willcat · Sep 02, 2023, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I'm in a similar situation. After ~8 years sober, I began using again a few months ago. It's getting out of control again, and it has caused me to miss work today. I'm not using right now, but I feel sick from last night's use. I need to stop, but I fear I can't stop without seeking professional help.

@3rd rock do not drink for 24 hours. Wake up sober the next day. If you can stay sober 1 day you can stay sober for 2 days. Try not to think too far ahead. ODAAT
Home detox is an option. Notify emergency dispatch the first sign of trouble.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loial

Hey all, it’s been a while since I posted here.

I did really well in abstaining from alcohol. I was sober for a year and a half but along side my nurse I was seeing, we thought I’d be okay to see if I can moderate.

That must have been a year or over now but I have creeped up in usage again.. Now I am slowly cutting back and adding sober days by myself and looking forward to being sober again. I think it’s time to accept no amount of alcohol will do me any good.

Only people without alcohol issues can moderate. The "self-critic" makes you think alcohol use is good ALL the time. Fight the thoughts that make you think drinking is an option because people like you and I can not drink never again period. We lost the option to drink. Now choose the opportunity of sobriety.

splitimage · Sep 05, 2023, 08:02 AM

So I'm thinking of getting a tattoo. I'd like to have a butterfly and my sober date tattooed on my forearm. It'll be 5 years sober in Oct. and I'd like to get the tattoo kind of as a celebratory thing..

The only thing holding me back is being slightly worried about the permanence of it. I mean if I tattoo the date, what happens if I slip up and drink. I mean I feel like my date is as permanent as it can be, but given my history I'm still a bit hesitant.

Desoxyn · Sep 08, 2023, 12:31 AM

I need poppy gum

Ok maybe not. Nvm. Sorry..

I hope everyone is well (:

MuddyBoots · Sep 13, 2023, 05:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buddha1too

There have been relatively few posts here lately. I guess everyone has been cured of their alcoholism/addiction. Sorry; I'm just being a smart arse...

I know I wasn't posting because I was the exact opposite of cured :/

-------

Had a bad relapse. Did a 30 day program, doing intake for IOP today starting the actual program tomorrow. I fked up my body real bad.

Desoxyn · Sep 13, 2023, 08:16 PM

I have a rare opinion about addiction.

Short, I was an impulsive reck. And I've built my life, trying to get away from that place..

Psilocybin is definitely preferred to be done with a professional therapist.. But it happened. I advise strong caution (The most severe of cautions), as a bad trip can happen. And it did.

Many years later, I didn't focus on the drugs.. I explored, and gained/retained responsibility... Awareness.. Many things.. Spirituality etc..

I would like to make some type of career - Such as neuroscience, psychology, pharmacology (Neuropsychopharmacology) - But that is just a type of dream.

I'd like to heal my own trauma... And then help others, with their trauma..

Trauma is the cause. Most people have trauma, in this life.. Some have it so bad - So it is, that the harder the heroin is slammed, into the veins...

MuddyBoots · Sep 23, 2023, 10:58 AM

I graduated from IOP this week. Now I'm just on the ACT co-occurring disorders treatment team (which is the basics for me so yay!

)

I became really close to someone I met in residential and he let me stay at his place for a few nights to get away from my house/neighborhood (lots of drug/alcohol use), but I have to be home Monday to see my case manager whom I will be discussing alternative living options with.