[chalmette70043]

I messed up and drank. As i was making me an iced coffee, i added some kaluha to it. I did it for flavoring. At least i thought that was why. But it wasnt why. It's becuase the bottle was sitting there on the counter and i thought this would be a good excuse to drink.

So, i'm starting over again. I poured the bottle out. Today, i start again.

[Perna]

It was flavoring in the coffee. It doesn't sound like to me as if the situation is cut-and-dried. It's not like you poured glass after glass of scotch and kept drinking. I don't see what you did as a "mistake" at all. It does not seem to have "hurt" you, you handled it very well.

[Raynaadi]

There's a whole line of flavored creamers. I know you know why you poured it in there and I also know you're taking steps to not do it again. I also know that you feel like you let yourself down but there's gratitude in every situation. You didn't end up in the hospital and you didn't go on a bender. You got lucky in that regard. And you saw it for what it is and want to change it, so its only a minor setback and a change in the date. Back to work we go.

[youOme]

One day at a time hun...slipping up one time doesn't justify a spree of mistakes. It's okay...move on and continue doing what you know is right..everybody makes mistakes.

[splitimage]

don't beat yourself up over it. Slips happen. The important thing is you recognized it, and stopped. There's nothing wrong with starting over. I've had to start over a good many times myself.

Take care of yourself.

--splitimage

[DePressMe]

Hi chalm, sometimes things like this happen. Its good that you caught it and you are honest about why you did it. It is your addiction trying to worm its way into your life. Sneaky critter, hugh? I don't consider a relapse as starting over. Yeah, you start counting days again, but nobody can take away your previous time of sobriety. You still have that to hold onto--you still have the lessons you have learned--I think your sobriety helped you catch this before it got out of hand again. If not for that previous sobriety, you might be right back in the bottle.

Hang in there--we are here for you.

[chalmette70043]

Thank ya'll for your support. Today starts off day one again. And i'm determined not to let any temptations pull me in.

I use flavored beans for my espresso, it just happened it was the hazelnut flavor. And that bottle of kaluha was hazelnut flavor too. That coffee didnt need any more flavor, it had enough. It was me just wanting to taste liqour. I'm not having urges much anymore for beer. But, man, for hard liquor, its constantly whispering my name. Hopefully now that the holidays are over i wont be around any booze until the parades start.

I'm gonna get to a day 30 of being sober. Watch me.

((((((((hugs to ya'll))))))))))

[Raynaadi]

Is that a challenge?

[chalmette70043]

determination and heck, booze sucks

[Raynaadi]

Yeah, yeah they do. I like your attitude.

[AAAAA]

(((((chal))))) You WILL hit 30 days!

[splitimage]

I have confidence in you. You can do it.

--splitimage

chalm,

I understand completely why what happened happened. I think you are handling it VERY well. I am impressed and proud that you so quickly handled it before it got totally out of hand and took you over - lots of alchoholics would have slipped much much farther than you did! you did terrific!

I KNOW you can get to 30 days. I have alot of faith in you. Just remember that like others say, its not entirely starting over. If it makes you feel better, you could always make up two numbers - one for the total amount of sober days you have had, and another for the amount of days you have been concurrantly sober! every sober day is another addition to your accomplishments.

[chalmette70043]

Today is day 9 from starting again. And yesterday wasnt a good day for me. Spent time with my mom and aunt and being with them i was triggered from talk about storm related stuff. That got my anxieyt going. Then last night i walked past that damn wine rack in the kitchen and since then thinking about drinking it. I was able to get my mind off enough time last night to fall asleep for a litle bit. Now its back. I got Bayou and we are gonna go do something. I'd like to take him to the park. But i think they have it all closed down becuase of that fire last week. There isnt much to do here, but sit in a bar or go to a restaurant to eat. I dont know i'll have to find something. Cause i dont want that bottle of wine in my system. There are 6 bottels there. I dont want any of them. I can feel that pulling feeling so bad. Okay. i gotta go. gotta get out of the house.

[Raynaadi]

Is there any way your parents would mind getting rid of it?

[splitimage]

Or could you give it away to friends. There's no way I could have stayed sober in my first 30 days with wine in the house.

Hang in there. You're doing great.

[DePressMe]

Hi Chalm...how are you doing today?

I also think it would have been difficult to make it through the first bit of recovery having booze around the house. But, if you are committed to staying sober, I know you can do it! Where there is a will, there is a way!

[chalmette70043]

(((Rayna))), (((((Split))) and ((((Dep))))))

I am okay right now. I found a church just up the street from me that has AA meetings. They have one today at 5. Well, according to what info i can find they have the meetings. And the info seems to be post katrina.

I'm going to ride over there and see if there is one. If there is, I'm going to go. I'm kinda stressing myself out today about this meeting, so i'm not thinking much about drinking.

Last night (((Rayna))))) talked to me and made me feel alot better. I felt like i was going insane. Ready to break open every one of those bottles. But Rayna calmed me and she helped me see things i didnt quite see.

I dont want to ask my mom to remove the wine rack. It's a long story as to why i dont want to ask and probably wouldnt make much sense anyway. For me, i just need to try to forget about it.

Man, i wish ya'll were here with me. So I didnt have to go by myself to the meeting.

love ya'll
chalmette

[Raynaadi]

Chalm could they maybe move it so you don't see it on a regular basis? Kinda out of site out of mind?

[DePressMe]

Hi Chalm...you're not going to the meeting alone--we are with you in spirit...even me who does not really go to meetings.

If you go to the meeting a few times, you will probably get to know people--I am sure that will help you.

[splitimage]

I think it's great that you're going to a mtg. I went to my first meeting alone too, and I was really scared. But people were really friendly and when I said I was new - they gave me all kinds of stuff to read.

I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

--splitimage

[chalmette70043]

I'm thinking i'm going to go to the meeting on wednesday. At least i say i am right now.

I'm really stressed out right now. First day back to work and was a whole lot to take in.

(((love ya'll))))

[tonyebaker]

I have 11 of AA's 24 hour tokens. I have been in at least as many hospitals to detox and twice admitted to long term treatment centers where I got drunk on the way home both times. I have been in jail 3 times. All of this occurred during 23 months from Aug 2nd 1999 through July 5th 2001. The first day, Aug 2nd 1999 was my first AA meeting and my first chip. I have now been sober 6 1/2 years.

The point is, all of us will drink as long as we gain "ease and comfort" from alcohol until a day that we are no longer "restless and discontent" simply living each day of our life. In the end, crawling into AA often over 23 months saved my life. Your answers and solution will begin there so no matter what the future holds, resolve to yourself that you will go and go and go to meetings no matter what. If you will, you will get to where you seek.

Best of luck and God Bless us all, everyone. Tony