Step Three--Very Confused

Hi, I have been stuck on step three for several months & can't seem to find anyone to understand my dilemma.
I was raised in the Church & I can not seem to separate religion from spirituality. I believe you either are hot or cold, no in between.
So when I read step three & it tells me I need to turn my will & my life over to God,I see it as saying I need to get back in Church & surrender my all/heart to God, become aChristian. Well I am not ready to do that. If I say ok I turn my will & life over to God yet I do not feel that then I am lying to myself & others.
Please someone tell me you understand, & maybe you can help me understand it in a different light. Thanks

I'm an agnostic and will not pretend to have faith when I don't. So the "higher power" I surrender to is the universe in a more abstract sense. It's complicated but on an emotional level it feels like giving myself over to fate, or to put it another way, trusting that I'm a part of a complex system that in some ways is benevolent (at least enough so that life exists and we've evolved).

This approach doesn't fly with all AA groups but it's the best they're going to get from me.

Hope that helps.

Cyran0

I'd say I lean toward the agnostic side like Cyran0. But, not totally (kinda complicated but that's another thread) . I don't perceive religion or spirituality as Black and White. I see it as a very GRAY area. I don't think what AA is saying is to go throw yourself back into church. I think they want you to draw strength from your religion or spirituality (remember - some are not religious yet, very spiritual). Haven't seen the 3rd step...........but maybe the terminology for what they are actually asking you do to is a little off...... just a thought. I think it's all in perception. I think it may be beneficial to look at the big picture of AA trying to reach out to everyone. All kinds of people from all walks of life. I hope that helps!!!!!

Good luck!

I've heard people say that they use AA groups as their higher power who are complete atheists. I've heard people say that their higher power is the goodness that they believe is innate to everyone. I've heard other people say unequivocally that their higher power is Jesus. And so far I'd say all views are respected within AA.

I was raised religious. My dad was a minister. As a result I saw a lot of the backroom politics associated with religion which pretty much turned me off of any form of organized religion. I can definitely say I am not a Christian now. I guess my higher power now is the power that I see in the universe as expressed in nature. It's kind of ephemeral, and I tend to think of my higher power in femine terms. To me turning my will over to my higher power is an extension of the serenity prayer. By accepting the things I can not change I am following my higher powers will for me, and I ask my higher power to help me find the courage to make the changes I need to make to myself to be a better sober person.

Not sure if any of the above made sense. I agree step 3 can be a tough one to get one's head around, and I'd say I'm only about 3/4 of the way there.

Good luck.

Splitimage

Step 3

"Made the decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him."

The most important words for me in Step 3 are as I understand God. I was brought up Catholic. These days I don't know what my higher power is. I call my higher power God because its comforting. But I'm not religious at all. I believe in something, but what I don't know.

For me step three isn't telling me or you or anyone to go to church. Sure go to church if thats what you choose. But the beauty of step 3 is and all the steps really, is find a power greater than yourself that you've comfortable with. Whether it be God or Jesus or Allah or the Universe or just our own good conscience.

My friend says that for her step 3 was a decision to continue with the rest of the steps, to continue with the sober way of life. I like that approach. I also like the way I percieve the first three steps, and I relate the first 3 steps to anything I'm struggling with, whether it be sobriety or some tough decision. 1. I can't. 2. God (as I understand God) can. 3. I think I'll let God. So when something is too big, I say "Ok I can't do this. You take over." Thats my 3rd step. I don't use fancy lingo. I just say "you take it". "You" being whatever my higher power is.

I still believe I have free will. One of the last sentences in the 3rd step in the 12x12 says, "It is when we try to make our will conform with God's that we begin to use it rightly." To me that means, if I'm doing the next right thing, and doing whats best for me, then I'm aligning my will with God's will for me. My higher power of my understanding just wants me to be happy and sober. I can tell when I'm going off course, I don't feel right. But when I make the right decision for myself, it feels right. I've learned to trust my gut in that respect, and for me, my gut is my higher power talking to me.

When you're struggling with a step, its a good idea to go back to the one before it. Maybe read the second step again, and see where that takes you.

and GREAT topic!!!!!

Thank you all for your replies & your wonderful insight. It helps to have others opinions when you feel stuck. Now I can go over each reply & try to come to a conclusion I feel comfortable with. You guys make it sound fairly easy.

Because of something that happened to me i lost my faith, what little i did have. So believeing God as my higher power will not do it for me. Until i can figure out what my higher power is, my sponser is letting me borrow hers. And i thank her very much.

chalmettte

I remember learning in a high school religion class that there was a distinct difference between faith and religion.

So to answer your question...maybe you don't 'have to' turn back to the Church, but just turn back to your faith in God

Best of Luck with Step 3 Be Well!