[youOme]

Addiction runs in my family. My mother is a former crack cocaine addict, she's been sober for almost 6 months now but relapse is always a possibility with her. She also believes that there are "lesser" drugs and basically replaces one addiction for another. I'm just grateful she's not on crack...I don't care if she does pills.

For me, my hardest part of addiction ran it's worst course when I was 13-15 years old. I was addicted to Oxy's and Xanax and the occasional cocaine and heroin use. I ran the streets and was almost killed on a few separate occasions. I was lucky to get out of it the way I did...I had an angel on my shoulder for sure...I'm supposed to be dead.

Now, my little sister who is 19 years old is in active addiction to PCP. She has a 2 year old and leaves him home with her husband (not his bio. father) to get high and roam DC with the worst of people. I worry for her life. She's had two scares so far. The other day her husband emailed my mother saying she almost OD'ed on PCP and Ecstasy and is still on the streets using....I fear for her life, I fear for my nephew. I don't know what to do anymore.

I feel like screaming saying, I'm sick and tired of this ********! I know...I understand, I've been there....our lives were very hard when we were children, we were abandoned by an addict. My sister will use these excuses to explain her actions...but I will not sway to her sympathises because for me personally these are not EXCUSES but are INCENTIVES to live a different way, a better way....for the sake of our children. Instead my sister is doing the same thing, slowly abandoning her son again.

My mother has asked me to care for my nephew, she claims her and I could do it together....remember, my mother is an addict as well...she could relapse at anytime.

This %#@&#! has gotten old to me...They've exhausted my efforts, I love my Mom and sister so much that I have stuck by their side through thick and thin and they continue to beat my efforts down with relapsing and pressuring me with more responsibilities...more then I already have!

I would sacrifice anything for my nephew, just like my own children...he is always welcomed into my home as my own....but I am terrified of what will happen, who I will have to fight in sake of him.

I used to understand addiction. When people would come to me and say "I don't understand why they do this" I'd reply saying, it's the addiction, it's not them anymore. NOW, I'm beginning to pissed and I no longer want to understand...I just want to smack them upside their stupid heads and say GET OVER IT..deal with life like the rest of us. It's not fair...they I have to deal with reality yet they can use and suppress their problems, THEN I take on their realities.



It's not fair anymore...I'm VERY pissed off.

[altonwoodsdrphil]

It's seems really hard to understand peoples choices at times. addictions are choices we make because they WORK for us better than anything else we know of...simply put, we get "paid'...and since yesterday we did'nt have a clue as to how we'd make it thru today the shallowness of our choices today does'nt seem odd. One thing about human nature, we seldom change until we becomes convinced that it's the easier thing to do and that our "pay-check" will continue because we avoid the "gaping hole with wind whistleing thru it" at ALL COSTS!!! maybe you know what I'm talking about, maybe not...my addiction to drugs was cured when I saw my life journey as me crawling down a glass/trash strewn alley just trying to be loved, and I believed all of the people who told me I was a bad person because i used drugs and that I was "trash"...it made me quite angry that they would all jump on this poor boy and beat him up...anyhow, I never went back, sorry for rambling on!

[Lenny]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
youOme said:

I love my Mom and sister so much
I would sacrifice anything for my nephew,

It's not fair anymore...

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Addictions/illness of any kind are not fair,,neither is a tornado. In both cases the survivors are left to pick up the pieces.

Love them enough to let them fall...do everything you can for the little soul,,,he is the truely innocent one here..

Be well,

Lenny