Oh my gosh, I need some support or something.

I got sober in April 2005 - AA, 12 steps, the whole deal. I've had two "slips" since then - basically a weekend each time - and have now been continually sober since November 2007.

I started therapy for the first time in November. Lots of unprocessed trauma, etc. Stuff that AA wasn't helping with. Anyhow, I AM REALLY STRUGGLING RIGHT NOW. I've taken hydrocodone quite a few times over the last month - not for pain, just for relief from feelings I know that's not okay. And now things are really feeling like too much for me to deal with - too many feelings and I'm not good at feelings - and I just want to say "%#@&#! it" and have a drink. I actually went to the liquor store but it was closed because it's the morning. I have a busy day, so I'm hoping to just make it through the day and maybe this feeling will have passed by tonight. But what if it doesn't?

I have three little boys, and I don't want to be an active alcoholic. There are so many reasons not to drink, but the pull is SO STRONG. I left a message with my T, but I'm not sure if it made me feel better or worse.

Help

[Stiv]

I would try asking for your MD to write you a script for Campral, it works of the brain chemistry that is active for the ETOH craving mechinism.

While the prevailing attitude that drugs alone are not a solution, you seem to have much recovery experience and IMO you are a perfect candidate for this approach because you do already possess, the other tools and this would help augment the coping mechanisms you already know how to use.

Read up on this medication, it was a miracle drug for me, my cravings to drink dissapated within 12 hours of my first doses.

Good luck!

[splitimage]

Earthmama,

I urge you to stay strong. You know that drinking won't solve anything no matter how tempting it might be as a short term solution. You've lived in sobriety - you have to know it's better even if sometimes life or emotions seem really hard or overwhelming.

Like Stiv, I believe that medications can have a place in helping us maintain our sobriety. I haven't tried Campral but I've heard really good things about it. I take Naltrexone which similarly reduces cravings for alcohol. I also take Antabuse as my insurance policy against picking up that first drink, because I don't quite trust myself just yet.

Sending wishes of strength to you.

--splitimage

[DePressMe]

earthmama, we are here to support you. It is great that you reached out. Do anything, anything but pick up that first drink. I really feel for you--I know where you are at with this....hang in there, it will get better....

Thanks for the support.... I made it through the day. I had to work the scoreboard at a tournament at my son's baseball field from 2 until 10 (!!) so that kept me very distracted. It also put me out into the world where I had to interact with other people. Connecting with other people and getting OUT of my head always helps me....wish I could remember that when I'm struggling!

So, today is pretty much done, and I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow.

Thanks so much.

[Lenny]

Are you using your sponser Earthmama? Are you still attending meetings?

There is help for you if you want it...

Only the best...

Lenny

[StarPonysMama]

When my emotions start running wild.....and I want to drink.......I think REAL hard about that.........

Because........

Tomorrow will be another day. The drink will only temporarily erase my problems. When I get up tomorrow my head will hurt and my problems will still be there.

Keep yourself busy and your mind off of it! Have a bowl of ice cream like I do!!!!!!