[Christina86]

None.

No desire whatsoever to go back to AA. Even if it might be useful.

I've successfully avoided going for 2 (or 3?) weeks now.

I don't want to go back and be the youngest one there again. I know my "pseudo-sponsor" (the lady who I think is trying to be my sponsor) wants me to continue to go...

But its weird. I'm not having any problems NOT drinking. I went home to my family. And didn't drink. My friends accept my non-drinking now. So... do I really need AA? Am I really an alcoholic?

I'm looking into Al-Anon and CODA meetings instead. Anyone have experience with either? Are they that different from an open AA meeting?

[trippinmickey]

I hate every thing about AA .Not what they stand for but what it takes to go .I hate large groups of people anything over 2 makes me panic .I hate the phone and i hate talking on it (its a trigger) so i dont wont anyone calling me and i sure the hell not going to call them and all the hugs and hugs its just creepy .I hug someone i care about so why would i just go up hug someone i dont know. I have a hard time reading now guess it the meds. or the bipolar and last but least I sure the !@!$% dont wont to reflect on my past that nightmare of hell I just wont to forget about .yes i used durning that time but I have never ever been that mentally sick. I would wish to die every night so I would not have to live though another day hell. The thought of ever getting sick like that scare the hell out of me .I dont think I could re-live it (I wont re-live~ ) So im not refecting back on it .

[cantstopcrying]

I've never been to AA, but I have been to Al-Anon. I am a horribly introverte person, so it took a lot for me to go. In fact, the first time I went, it was being held at a church, so I get there, there's little paper arrow signs, so I get to this room, sit down (no one else was there but there was a sign that said "meeting here tonight"). Eventually a couple people came in and started talking about last week's meeting, introduced themselves then asked if I had come out to my family yet! Not only did I finally get the courage to go, but then I went to the wrong dang meeting. Wait, gets better. I was so flustered and embarassed that I couldn't even find the right meeting I went out to my car, put the key in and it wouldn't start. I keep trying, pound on the steering wheel, lay my head on the stearing wheel and notice a breifcase. I don't own a briefcase. Apparently I didn't own that car either because I got in the wrong one!! Sorry, way . Anyway, Al-Anon helped me deal with the alcoholic in my life. I didn't go every time, I don't ever remember speaking, I didn't drink coffee; I did cry and cry and cry and learned a lot. No one hugged me, no one called me. I was given a list of people if I chose to call someone, but it was very low pressure.

[splitimage]

Christina,

You know I'm pro AA because it's helped me so much, but it's not for everyone. People do find recovery without AA. You gave it a fair shot by attending meetings for a while, although I think it might have been better if you could have tried more different meetings. If you can not drink and not attend meetings then that's great - I can't. I need the support. But everybody's different.

I can't answer the question as to whether or not you're an alcoholic. Only you can decide if you want to give yourself that label. But does it really matter? You decided that you didn't like where your life was going with respect to alcohol and you did something about it. I will share one thing that I've heard around AA and that's "normal people don't sit around wondering if they're alocholic."

Recovery can take many different paths for different people and what's important is to find what works for you. You're still pretty young so you have lots of time to figure out what works for you and what doesn't. Just remember if at some point in the future you do decide to begin drinking again and find it becoming problematic or interfering that AA will still be there and willing to welcome you back with open arms.

--splitimage

[Christina86]

(((((((((((trippinmickey)))))))))))))))))

Yeah. It's the "going" thing I find difficult. I hate larger groups myself... but if they're nice to me, it's a bit easier I guess. (for me anyways)

[Christina86]

((((((((((cantstopcrying)))))))))))))) Awww. Sounds like a not-so great experience you had

Low-pressure is good though - thanks

[Christina86]

((((((((((splitimage)))))))))))))

You my friend are great.

I'll give it another shot. I'm just fairly busy at the moment - but an AA meeting on campus should start soon, so it could be good. I'll try other meetings.

And I like that quote. That gives me something to think about.