I've noticed that my brother can't talk about "IT"

This half amuses me and half annoys me. I have kind of an awkward relationship with one of my brothers. He's a lot older than me, so we didn't really grow up together, and have had to get to know each other as adults & we're very different with very different values, We also live a 3 hour plane ride apart so we don't get to see each other very often. But he's pretty much the closest family I've got so I want to have a relationship with him.

But he has a really hard time dealing with the fact that I'm an alcoholic and that I have psych issues. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm willing to talk about them openly. After all recovery is a fairly big part of my life at the moment. He always rather obliquely refers to them as my "issues" and he can't say AA meeting to save his life. The step study I go to every Sun. night is "that thing you have". I mentioned that I'm coming up on my one year this month and he did manage a congratulations, immediately followed with so will this always be a problem? hmm yes.

And he gets really weird whenever I mention the psych hospital. That's the really big taboo subject that we don't talk about. When we were talking tonight, I mentioned running into a nurse who'd been one of my nurses when I was in last summer and how she'd been really happy to see me and how we'd had a nice chat & I got dead silence.

I mean I guess it's kind of hard dealing with the fact that your kid sister is both slightly nuts and an alcoholic, but they're my problems not his. I don't get why he can't accept me for who I am, and be happy that I'm having some success in dealing with my problems and in my recovery.

Family?????????

i wish there was some way you could ask him why it seems to make him so uncomfortable but that's probably not gonna happen...

just guessing that either he can't relate and feels awkward or he has his own "issues" and is not dealing with them and your talk of active recovery makes him feel "exposed"...

i have alway tended to be open and transparent - but that is a personality thing and i have one daughter like me and one who is the total opposite. she is very private and i have had to learn that her ways is just as valid as mine and that i have to respect her differences to keep our relationship in good order.

since he is important to you, it might be best if you just accepted him where he is and didn't try to "push" him to accept your stuff openly. it may be that he just can't. one of the biggest principles in 12 steps that i struggle with is "acceptance". when i do not accept things/people as they are my life goes into struggle and chaos mode. hope you can find a peaceful solution to this so you can enjoy his place in your life. hugs,

leslie

Maybe you're hitting too close to home with him. I went to rehab when I was graduating high school, the legal drinking age was 18 then. Right after I got out, my one step brother gave me a bottle of wine for my 18th birthday. He'd tense all up if I mentioned rehab or AA or NA for that matter. Later on, many years later, he has done his share of recovery and prison for that matter. It used to amaze me how taboo it was for me to talk about it but now we're both in our 40's it makes sense.