I'm contemplating quitting

I am a 36 year old happily married mother of two young children who works full time as a successful office manager (doubled my salary a year and half ago) I attend college part-time and have been on the dean's list every grading period. I have smoked pot for the past 23 years. I experienced a severe panic attack about 2 years ago and that is what started my journey to psychotherapy and contemplating having to give up marijuana. I can't help it but I really like it. I like the buzz, the smell and the taste. The reason I know I should quit is because I am afraid of cancer (I also smoke cigarettes and have for 20 years) I am afraid that my eight year old will tell some authority figure I smoke it, even though she is extremely smart and beautiful and in no way neglected or abused, and I am told by my therapist that it is bad. Then of course there was the panic, but I started taking Lexapro which calmed all my fears and made me feel great so I could smoke again. I hit the pipe 2 x in morning and 2 x at night. I should also ad that I wake up at 5 am 5 days a week and work out which I have done faithfully for 13 years. So for all intensive purposes I have a great life, it's just that I have this habit that I feel extremely guilty about. Is what I am doing that bad??? What are my cancer risks??? Is it normal to be afraid of the person that you will be without the drug??? I dabbled in other drugs throughout my life but none have stuck in the last ten years. I only drink socially and hate hang overs. Anyone run into people like me in treatment???? What's your thoughts???

Hi nnsv,

Yes, I spent some time with the weed myself. One thing about cannabis is that it's quite easy to live a regular life as a smoker. It doesn't hit you like alcohol, and it is easy to become tolerant over time.

I don't smoke now, and haven't for some years. At first it feels like being outside the comfort zone, and then gradually I realised that for me the only comort zone is being straight, nothing else comes close.

Good luck in whatever you decide,

Cheers, Myzen

At what point did you decide to quit and what made you do it??? I desperately would like to talk to someone who has a similar story as mine.

Thanks for your reply,

Nadine