[Locust]

Trigger is for mentioning specific drinks people might be partial to and also talking about urges to do things one should not do.

I have had several addicts in my circle of loved ones, but I am not an addict. No, really. I'm not. Unless you count caffeine. However, I think I am a binge drinker. I may go months without drinking a single drink. I don't need it, I may not even think about it. And when I do drink, I don't always have to drink like a maniac. I can have one mixed drink and walk away- or even less than a whole one. So maybe I'm not a binge drinker.

But every so often, I drink 4 + drinks, sometimes as many as 8 or 9 drinks at a time, mix alcohol, and may drink for several days in a row, and may drink like this for several days in a row. Then I am back to normal. Sometimes, I keep drinking even after I'm drunk. I do feel guilty sometimes. And while I said I might not think about it.....other times, I DO think about it. I try to talk myself out of it, but I WANT to drink. Sometimes I want to get totally plastered.

Once during a depressed spell, I drank every day for a short while, but I was getting buzzed to full on drunk nightly. One night I remember what I had. 6 beers and a third of a thing of Jager. I would have had more, but we ran out. On another ocassion about a year and a half ago, I didn't have a whole lot, but I didn't need a whole lot to mess me up because I had lost weight and had a very empty stomach (hadn't eaten much in a few days) and I mixed 4 diff. kinds of alcohol- beer, vodka, cheap fruity wine (not strong, like a wine cooler almost), and some kind of whiskey I don't recall. This past year I had about a week of drinking (that means daily and in a row, otherwise it's more than a week), and on the worst night I had about 8 or 9 drinks. Most of these were mixed- margaritas, kahlua and cream, etc., and then I topped it off with a shot of liquer. I think the bar closed. It seems like it did. If the bar had stayed open and I'd had the money, I might have drank more. Am I a binge drinker?

Right now, I really want to get blown out of my mind tonight. I am broke, but I really want to get drunk. I'm talking no less than 4 or 5 drinks and maybe up to 8 because I want to feel this. But I am worried about brain damage, I don't have the cash, I'd need to find a sober driver, and I hate how when I drink, my nerve endings get all numb. Plus, sometimes, it makes me sick. I know I shouldn't, but I'm tempted. I don't think alcohol is something grand. I know it has led me to feeling sick and miserable, acting like an idiot, wasting money, etc. I don't want to cause myself permanant damage. I care about my brain cells, my nerve endings, etc. But I like how alcohol makes me feel emotionally sometimes.

[madisgram]

hi locust, i'm a recovering alcoholic and this is what i learned about binge drinking: it's more difficult for a person to identify they have a problem with alcohol cause they have periods of no drinikng at all. when they do drink tho your description does sound like a binge drinker.
however, only you can decide if you have a problem with alcohol but i'm glad you are questioning your drinking behavior. if you are a binge drinker there is an interesting aspect of it. i was told that binge drinking does more harm to the liver cause of the excessivenes when one does drink. i was a day to day drinker. i was completely immersed in alcholism when i went to get help. my liver enzmes were normal however. (even the doc was shocked cause i was so bad off.)
my gf was a binge drinker and when she got help, her liver was on overload.
the question you can ask yourself is why do you feel the need to get totally plastered.? becoming educated about alcoholism i found that normal ppl didn't drink like i did. once i turned on the switch i couldn't stop drinking. it was an obsession with me. do u feel that way when you drink?
idk if you are taking meds as well but that was another thing i had to learn. my meds did not mix with alcohol and it could have lethal results. i played russian roulette so to speak with no bad results for a long time. then one nite i almost died from the combination. i was very fortunate to have lived. i got help for my drinking cause i knew my life was going down the tubes and i also could die mixing it with my meds. this is just my story, mind you, but hope this helps. i'm glad you shared what's going on with you.

[notz]

Locust,

I don't know if you're an addict, an alcoholic or a binge drinker, only you can determine that. But I'd definitely say you abuse alcohol. If you are questioning it, then there must be good reason.

notz
sober since '93

[tonalized]

I understand your question b/c i drink every night. i sometimes worry about it, but i continue to drink. If you think you might have a problem, you probably do. I continue b/c it doesnt create any real problems for me. Im not sure what to tell you other than be aware of your behavior and dont let things get out of hand. Seek help if you need it.