Spending/Shopping addiction?

I only went back to january to see if anyone posted about ppl who spend too much. I didn't find anything.

Can someone answer a question for me please?

I understand a little about addiction, but that isn't my issue. I'm wondering if I'm helping someone close to continue bad behavior with what a friend of mine thinks is a shopping addiction. She has been sober for about 8 yrs and sees things I don't. I know I can't change someone's behavior, she has reinforced that with me. but I'm not sure what to do.

there is such a thing as shopping addiction. also i believe anyone can develop an addiction to anything if done in excess and is out of control. you're a good friend to be concerned.
as well, there is some suggestion that some, certainly not all, people who have drug or alcohol addiction may transfer their addiction to something else while in recovery. i don't know, nor need to know, if your friend is alcoholic or a drug abuser or in recovery .what i do know tho is i have seen friends of mine in recovery replace their drug/alcohol addiction with some other self destructive addiction, just me. this does not have to happen but there are times i have witnessed it first hand.
sorry i couldn't be of more help.

I know shopping is something I have to be very careful about - especially on-line shopping, because I know I do it to change my mood, and I get the same rush from buying stuff that I used to get from drinking. I got into a really bad debt situation years ago, right when I first got out of college - but I cleaned that up. Now that I've been sober a while, I find myself spending over my budget again. Fortunately I've realized it's a problem, and have put myself on a strict budget.

I define any addiction as continuing behaviour depsite it having negative consequences on your life. If your friend's shopping is driving her deep into debt or preventing her from paying her bills, then it's a concern. But the most you can do as a friend is express your concern. Ultimately it's up to the individual to decide if they have a problem.

---splitimage

Thanks Madisgram and Splitimage,

How do I support this person once I've said what my concern is? Do I refuse to go shopping/spending with this person? Do I come up with other "free" things to do?

This bad spending over budget is a huge problem. Person doesn't seem to care even though there is knowledge that there are responsibilies that need to come first.

Is it really a "thrill" feeling? I don't really understand that because I don't get a thrill or high out of spending when I know the electric bill is due and I have only enough to pay the bill. Maybe that is because I tend toward depression and don't need a lot of "things" to feel good.

No, this life long friend doesn't have/hasn't had any addiction prior to this spending thing.

Well, it depends on how bad it is and how much she is spending. Are bills piling up because she is shopping too much?

Usually any kind of addiction isn't just about a thrill, but compensation for some void. As with drugs and alcohol, people do stuff like this to avoid the pain they are in and use just about anything as a means of escape as opposed to facing what is really bothering them.
For some it is a rush because they feel better when they get something no matter what, and the thing about addiction that it doesn't really make sense; but it makes them feel better temporarily. It's like the drug addict that knows bills are due, but buys drugs instead of dealing with something like paying the bills.
It's not logical, but neither is addiction.

This person is compensating for something that they feel they need or want. And that person does need help. Especially if the basics aren't been taken care of, like bills.
The best thing to do is to discuss this with that person without judgment, because judgment because you don't understand will only make her withdraw and/or defensive. So take the time to say that you are not judging them, but that you care and are concerned about their well-being. Tell her you don't want her to lose everything because she's overspending, and tell her you are there to help - not hurt.
Good luck.

Ty Sad in TX,

Your reply was helpful.

God bless ya

Here's a good website that maybe explains and addresses how you can help your friend?

http://www.indiana.edu/~engs/hints/shop.html

Thanks Perna,

I checked out that site, but there is nothing in this area. Only telephone service. Which isn't what I was hoping for when I went to that site.