I binge drink heavily once a week or every other week for the purposes of self medicating. I know it is killing me but I just cannot stop. I feel like I am trapped because I like doing it but the other side of me knows there are consequences. Help!

[Catherine2]

Joe,
Thank you for sharing, I know how hard it is to be that honest.
Doing it, though, was taking that first step...

Early in my alcoholism, I was a weekend binger. It didn't take but a few years of it before I kept adding days to it and began drinking daily.
Perhaps you've exercised great control so far in limiting your binges. It's an illusion however to think that binge drinking is any safer, not quite an alcoholic/problem drinker.

Have you tried any AA meetings?
I'll be the first to acknowledge that many people are not comfortable with these meetings. AA did help me get and stay sober once I looked for commonalities with the others.

Self medicating to drown our problems obviously isn't the answer. It's going to take a whole lot of courage to admit you have a problem--which you have already done--do something about that problem, and face the reasons you use alcohol to ease that pain.

Please keep sharing...many times it helps us focus on what needs changed. Stopping the binges is the first step; that's when more hard work starts...
You do not have to go it alone, Joe.
We've been there, know what it's like, and know how much better life is when sober.
It's beautiful. Always? No. But still a helluva lot better than feeling trapped and beating ourselves up.

Best wishes,
Catherine

jme, of course

I know why I drink, or at least I think I know why. I have bipolar disorder and a personality disorder. I suck at emotional intelligence and hurt others by words without realizing it when it happens. I drink to lower the anxiety I feel and the loniness that comes from being alone without anyone to comfort me. I come accross as tough on the outside but I am crying inside. Drinking always gives me a relief from the intense mood swings I go through. I see a psychologist but I have not yet have gone into detail about this. I need to do so. I know I will. I have been seeing him for ten months now. I have a lot of problems and so it is hard to take on all of them at once with the therapist. We are currently working on the sexual abuse I had as a young boy with older straight males who married women later on in life and how I was conned by them into homosexuality from which I derive no support, love, and comfort from other males today. When I go to gay bars I am totally ambivalent in there. I am there because it is the only sex I have ever known yet I don't fit in with the homosexual lifestyle. I feel so ashamed and confused about it. This is certainly another reason why I drink.

thquote=Catherine2;1030809]Joe,
Thank you for sharing, I know how hard it is to be that honest.
Doing it, though, was taking that first step...

Early in my alcoholism, I was a weekend binger. It didn't take but a few years of it before I kept adding days to it and began drinking daily.
Perhaps you've exercised great control so far in limiting your binges. It's an illusion however to think that binge drinking is any safer, not quite an alcoholic/problem drinker.

Have you tried any AA meetings?
I'll be the first to acknowledge that many people are not comfortable with these meetings. AA did help me get and stay sober once I looked for commonalities with the others.

Self medicating to drown our problems obviously isn't the answer. It's going to take a whole lot of courage to admit you have a problem--which you have already done--do something about that problem, and face the reasons you use alcohol to ease that pain.

Please keep sharing...many times it helps us focus on what needs changed. Stopping the binges is the first step; that's when more hard work starts...
You do not have to go it alone, Joe.
We've been there, know what it's like, and know how much better life is when sober.
It's beautiful. Always? No. But still a helluva lot better than feeling trapped and beating ourselves up.

Best wishes,
Catherine

jme, of course[/quote]

[madisgram]

hi joe, took courage to post your message and it's the first step away from the next drink... admitting we are powerless over drinking. jme, but i found aa did the trick for me. i found ppl who drank just like i did prior to them getting sober and it gave me hope that i could put the plug in the jug too. hope you keep us posted on your progress or what's it's still like out there...it helps me stay sober to hear.
ps fyi, binge drinking causes quicker body damage but it can be arrested by not drinking.

[Catherine2]

Originally Posted by jersey_joe_in_fl

I know why I drink, or at least I think I know why. I have bipolar disorder and a personality disorder. I suck at emotional intelligence and hurt others by words without realizing it when it happens. I drink to lower the anxiety I feel and the loniness that comes from being alone without anyone to comfort me. I come accross as tough on the outside but I am crying inside. Drinking always gives me a relief from the intense mood swings I go through. I see a psychologist but I have not yet have gone into detail about this. I need to do so. I know I will. I have been seeing him for ten months now. I have a lot of problems and so it is hard to take on all of them at once with the therapist. We are currently working on the sexual abuse I had as a young boy with older straight males who married women later on in life and how I was conned by them into homosexuality from which I derive no support, love, and comfort from other males today. When I go to gay bars I am totally ambivalent in there. I am there because it is the only sex I have ever known yet I don't fit in with the homosexual lifestyle. I feel so ashamed and confused about it. This is certainly another reason why I drink.

thquote=Catherine2;1030809]Joe,
Thank you for sharing, I know how hard it is to be that honest.
Doing it, though, was taking that first step...

Early in my alcoholism, I was a weekend binger. It didn't take but a few years of it before I kept adding days to it and began drinking daily.
Perhaps you've exercised great control so far in limiting your binges. It's an illusion however to think that binge drinking is any safer, not quite an alcoholic/problem drinker.

Have you tried any AA meetings?
I'll be the first to acknowledge that many people are not comfortable with these meetings. AA did help me get and stay sober once I looked for commonalities with the others.

Self medicating to drown our problems obviously isn't the answer. It's going to take a whole lot of courage to admit you have a problem--which you have already done--do something about that problem, and face the reasons you use alcohol to ease that pain.

Please keep sharing...many times it helps us focus on what needs changed. Stopping the binges is the first step; that's when more hard work starts...
You do not have to go it alone, Joe.
We've been there, know what it's like, and know how much better life is when sober.
It's beautiful. Always? No. But still a helluva lot better than feeling trapped and beating ourselves up.

Best wishes,
Catherine

jme, of course

[/quote]

How did the following get placed in this post??
I did not post this and it is not showing when I went to reply...only quote marks showed.
Anyone know what happened?

Some Words of Thought: I know getting rid of expressive pride or any pride in your life is paramount to your road to a mentally healthy you and is hard to overcome. Honesty and humbleness is something we all have a hard time achieving. Anger and strife is tough when we don't know why we have those feelings. Distinguishing from one trying to help others and from one judging others is also hard to differentiate. Getting someone's opinion and then thinking about the advice determining if you should act on it or not, is not the same thing as accepting the opinion blindly. Finding and keeping a true friend or mate with a heart is hard to come by. Let's all hope we can overcome these obstacles and learn to love one another.

The above is not coming from me...