[Caitlin86]

Why do people freak out when theres nothing wrong...I can drive my car just fine even after a few a drinks. I dont kno why I'm even here anymore

[madisgram]

only you can determine if you have a problem with alcohol. did you come to pc to discuss your drinking? i don't know the background of your post, just asking.

[Christina86]

Maybe people freak out because they care? I know that not always people have the best ways of showing it ... but I bet people do care. Driving under the influence of alcohol is always a risky behaviour. Please do be careful.



Edit: I actually just went back and read some of your previous posts in this forum. One of them "struggling" really struck me. I know it's tough dealing with an addiction, especially when you're dealing with more than one simultaneously. Do you remember what you wrote back a couple of months ago?

Originally Posted by Caitlin86

thanks for the encouragement, Im determined to stick with it. Im fed up with failing and just want to take some control back and be free of all the drugs.

I know the situation is changed now (are you still travelling?) and I don't know if you managed to see a counsellor/therapist yet (I highly recommend it) ... but you were so committed to trying to help yourself then - are you committed to helping yourself now?

Or is this situation different? Do you think you're not misusing alcohol? Do you think you're becoming an alcoholic? Like madisgram said, only YOU can determine if you have a problem with alcohol.

But we'll be here to support you if you want to stop, even if you're not sure right now about what to do.

[SophiaG]

Originally Posted by Caitlin86

Why do people freak out when theres nothing wrong...I can drive my car just fine even after a few a drinks. I dont kno why I'm even here anymore

They care about your safety and others...thats my guess.

You are here perhaps to seek help?

[jilly143]

Originally Posted by Caitlin86

Why do people freak out when theres nothing wrong...I can drive my car just fine even after a few a drinks. I dont kno why I'm even here anymore

Please dont think people dont care, and that is coming from someones who's most of there family dies of drugs, suicude and booze, and believe me people cared more than they probaly ever thought. I have my husband who does not understand my substance abuse and depression, and I have a five year old aughter to care for. There was a time when I thought that getting my husband to hate me by doing something horrible, cheating on him. SO that he would leave me, I thought him and my daughter would be better off with out me. He stuck by me even after the ultimate betrale. Every day is a struggle but I have my dad and my husband and daughter, thats it, and I know a lot of people would be greatful to have one person, and I am. I am sure you have people that care. If you ever want to chat, write back I can give you an email adress. Jillian For all the people that care.. a group hug

[Caitlin86]

I honestly don't even remember writing this post &obviously now sober I realise it was a stupid thing to do esp considering I got into a car with a guy who I knew was drunk &ended up in a serious accident a few yrs ago-i never learn. I think ive got my drinkn under control-i drink alot but no more than some of my friends, obviously when I get older I wont be drinkn or going out this much.

But thanks to all of you for the support the people in this forum seem like the only people who get it. I'm home from my travelling came home nearly 3 weeks ago & I'm finding it tough to settle bac into my life here. My mothers an alcoholic &I've rarely seen her sober since I've bn home &the nightmares are back now most nights a week. I watched her hit my younger sister the other day &that was the final straw, she was violent wit me&my older sis but i felt so bad &guilty i couldnt protect my little sister at that moment. I went &scored a good bit of coke,sum painkillers &spent the weekend on a bender. A few of my non using friends found out &when I seen them crying &begging me not to fall back into old habits I realised I'm not just hurting myself, I'm hurting my best friends who stuck by me &forgave me for all the crap I did!

I don't understand now why after spending months off drugs did I go back I cant spend my life blaming my mams problem because im 23 &make my own choices. I've graduated uni wit a 1st class honours degree with everything going for me but yet I'm back to square one &seemingly determined to ruin everything again!Why havnt I thrown the pills &coke away.

No i havnt talked to any therapists or anything I was v.close today I even went so far as getting a number but I know I prob wont ring it when I stop feeln so crapy after the weekend. I just find it v.hard to talk about things &instead try to deal with it myself.

[Raynaadi]

Hi Caitlin,

Sounds like things are pretty tough for you right now. Previous posters were right, only you can determine if you have a problem. I just want to give you some food for thought.

Sounds like you've decided the drugs are bad. Excellent, because yeah, drugs are bad. But you said that you've got a handle on the drinking, that you don't drink more than your friends.

I've got a few questions in relation to the drinking. Do normal drinkers post things and then not remember posting it? Do you ever do drugs and not drink? What I mean is, think about the times you've gotten into trouble, IE: getting in the car with the guy who'd been drinking, doing drugs. In the times that you feel bad about behaviors and drugs, are you drinking at the same time?

I'm only asking these questions because it was questions like these that helped me see that any substance at all, was my problem. When I first got sober, I'd here horror stories, people getting DUI's, loosing husbands, loosing kids, houses, cars, jobs. I thought, well I'm not THAT bad, that stuff hasn't happened to me. YET. I realized those things hadn't happened to me YET. But yet stands for "you're eligible too". I hadn't lost those things primarily because I didn't have them. My life was just putting one foot in front of the other, just existing. There wasn't happiness. I drove drunk but thank GOD I didn't kill anyone.

I'm back here from not being around for awhile, but Christina included enough to get me caught up. It sounds like you're reaching out for help, and this is a fabulous place for it. I hope you keep coming back, and keep sharing.

Hugs,
Rayna

[Caitlin86]

Hi Rayna,

Thanks for your reply it really gave me something to think about which I've bn doing all day &after a chat with a friend who really encouraged me to throw all the drugs I had away-I did-Im quite proud of myself. I realised I couldnt take another 1/8 &expect everybody to understand &support me &I couldn't expect not to get sucked back in-I see its easier to throw it all away now because in hindsight is a not so wonderful word. For years I begged my mam to pick us over the bottle of vodka &she never has &never will &when my friends ask me to pick them over a bag of coke &pack of painkillers I'm not going to put them through the pain I went through-I'm determined never to turn out like her!

Those questions you asked about the drinkn are true for the most part &I do get black outs most nights I drink so maybe I need to stop drinkn so much but I dont drink everyday &so I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic-just make stupid decisions sometimes when I'm drunk.

I'll call the weekend a slip up &I just need to find a better way of dealing with my mams drinkn problem. Back to day 1 though!

[Raynaadi]

Excellent!!! Good job throwing out the drugs. The beginning of anything is hard. I can't relate to the drugs, because I was a straight drinker. I'd do pot if it came around when I was drunk, but I never did pot or all the men unless I was drunk. I would just really keep an eye on the blacking out. I know that it seems like alcoholics drink every day, but I was told its more what happened when I drank. I didn't black out during the week because I'd limit my drinks on work nights. But just about every weekend, I blacked out. I'm still trying to remember what happened after this one wedding. I remember drinking at the wedding, then drinking at the after party, and the last thing I remember was talking to some girl in an arm chair. Then I woke up in the morning in the back seat of my friend's jeep wwith the sun glaring down on me. I was parked out in front of my best friend's parent's house. I stumbled in after throwing open the door and screaming, why did you leave me in the jeep???? My friend's said they couldn't get me out. I mumbled that I was going to bed, and went and collapsed in a bedroom. All this while my friend's parents were having coffee over the morning paper. Yikes.

So just be really careful about the black outs. I shudder to think what I might have done in my blackouts. None of my friends who are normal drinkers have ever blacked out. That was one of my first indications that I had a problem.

I know there's an adult children of alcoholics forum here, have you checked it out?

Congrats again on throwing out the drugs!!

Hugs,
Rayna

[Sad In TX]

Usually when you scare yourself is when there is a problem. Yeah, you've had some near-misses, but it's only a matter of time. I'm glad that you realize that there is a way to deal with this, and that there are many ways to get help and stay sober.

The hardest thing is to admit that there is a problem, and you've made that step. What's sad (and I've been there) is realizing how much life there is to live without getting drunk or high, even though doing that stuff does have appeal. But not when you wake up the next day.

I suggest AA or something to help you with this. It's not just your mom anymore - it's your problem too. And you need to help yourself before you can help anyone else. And I know you can. You already seem to have the drive to quit before something really bad happens, and with some people it takes hitting rock bottom.

Good luck to you. You can do it. It's hard, and you might stumble, but you can do it.