[julssantana515]

alcoholics live everyday with things like regret on their chests,
well what about the other people around them?
we feel stupid for trusting u and letting u lie over and over again!!!
you would think that after goiin to jail 2 times before u would learn ur leason but no,
instead u just dont care as u go down u take everyone with u ,
well look at me now,
im so much more then just a little skrewed up,
so guess what,
i will never forgive u or be like u
and i will always blame u!!!

~~~~~~

to the father that will never read this or ever truly know me!!! its ur fault and i hope u sufur for what u did

[Hunny]

Julssantana:

Thank you for posting your deep strong feelings that most of us feel about those who have hurt us through drinking and maybe taking prescription of illicit drugs.

Your anger and tears are more than heard here. You did right to post in a safe place. Those horrible feelings of abandonment are really real. Loss or never having a good role model is just so infuriating resulting in just so much pain and anger. Again, thank you for letting it out. It is the right thing to do.

Please know that there are many who support you and your efforts to 'be well'. Though you can't see us here we are here and encourage you to keep posting till it is all out.

There are just so many comforting things I would like to tell you but for now, perhaps, it's enough to say thank you for being so very brave.

If it is okay I'd like to give you a little cyber hug.





h

[VickiesPath]

The first ACoA book I ever read was "It Will Never Happen to Me" by Claudia Black. Well, it did.

Welcome, julssantana515. Please continue to post. At some point, I hope you will see the need to change the focus from what your father has done to you to what you can do for you.

Good luck!

Originally Posted by julssantana515

i will never forgive u or be like u
and i will always blame u!!!

~~~~~~

to the father that will never read this or ever truly know me!!! its ur fault and i hope u sufur for what u did

Hi Julssantana,

I have said these very words about my father . and to others who are not achoholics who have hurt me .

I have held on to the hurt and anger for along time .

And one person who doesn't even remmeber me or know my name. devastated me and kicked me out the door and offered no help still to this day has the power to keep me from getting help.

They are not suffereing . I am .

The key here is they don't remember me or know my name yet they treated me in a cruel manner. they harmed me and they were the one in power .

Many times the alcoholic does not remember what they did the night or day or week before . And our alchohilic fathers were or are in a position of power.

How do we disempower them?

Through forgiveness. Forgiveness brings them down to an equal footing with us. , And from there its Its My higher poweres job to take care or them or show them thier errors .

I have a few people who are writing and calling on my behalf .
And I belive my higher power does not want to see me suffer and wants me to be well.


If we truley forgive and bring them to a less powerful level they can no longer hurt us .
And we no longer want them .

Its freeing .


Patricia